Someone thinks I'm Kreativ

ProfK has honored me with a Kreativ Blogger award; thanks, Prof!

[I've posted my thoughts on blog awards here.]

Here are the rules for this award:
1. You must thank the person who has given you the award. Thanks!

2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog. Done!

3. Link to the person who has nominated you for the award. Done!

4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting. See below.

5. Nominate 7 other Kreativ Bloggers, link to them and let them know.
I can't fulfill this term of the award; I am certain there are many, many bloggers who deserve it, but I just don't read them. I read the same five or six blogs when I get the chance, and that's about it.

To compensate, though, I will go all-out to fulfill the third term of the award: To list seven interesting pieces of information about me. (I don't know that these are actually interesting, but they are the best I can do.)

1. Embarrassing teenage story: In high school (MTA), I once tossed an orange out the window, during a pre-class game of catch. Yes, it was on purpose. No, I did not mean to hit the (red-haired!) cop on the corner...

2. Formative influences: I can remember almost all of my grade school teachers (HALB) and how they influenced me positively.

3. If I had one hour to do anything in the world that was not one of the 613, I would: Watch a 3-year old play.

4. A hobby: I used to write fiction, although I haven't set aside time for it in years. I have written 3 full-length novels - one about a Torah-observant man trying to reconcile his homosexuality with his observance, one about a man masquerading as a rabbi and taking over a synagogue, and one about a man dying in a nursing home, and his family.

5. Odd chumra: I omit the Name of HaShem in singing zemiros on Shabbos, to remind myself to treat the Name with honor. I say it often in the course of learning, so I feel this precaution is necessary for me.

6. Something I despise: Pretense. Especially in myself. Which happens too often.

7. The great love of my life: Chocolate. Not the expensive kind - the Hershey's/Krackel/M&Ms kind.

There you go - seven items. Thanks, Prof!

Honest Scraps: The Weary Traveller

This is a personal complaint post; feel free to skip it. I would, if I were you.

But A Living Nadneyda was kind enough to tag me for the Honest Scraps Award, and now I'm supposed to write ten honest things about myself, and the only one I have time/energy to discuss at the moment is a complaint, so there it is. I apologize.


I have discovered, to my chagrin, that I am not much of a traveller.

I always thought I would be a good traveller-
• I like seeing new things;
• I am not particularly into creature comforts;
• I can go for extended periods on little sleep or food, thank Gd;
• I can work on a laptop or with a sefer, and keep in touch by cell phone as well.

And the mishnah/gemara make it sound like all of the tannaim were good travellers: Rabban Gamliel and his cohorts appear on boats headed to or from Rome, or take long walks past Har haBayis or along the water, etc. Caravans and ships fill the gemara, with all sorts of halachos from Shabbos issues to responsibility for property to davening to terumah/maaser.

On the other hand, Rabbi Akiva does place a premium (toward the end of Pesachim, in advice to his son) on studying in an undisturbed area. And the gemara does talk about not davening for days after coming off the road, because your concentration is so disruptive.

For me, though, it was pretty much moot until three years ago; I never travelled, until I started mentoring new rabbis in a Yeshiva University program. Suddenly I found myself spending full days in air transit, travelling cross-continent. And, surprise, I discovered that I don’t travel well:

• I get frustrated about missing chavrutot and shiurim.
• The airline industry is absurdly irresponsible.
• I can’t stand the repetitious commercials blasting away on airport television sets. I don't know what Evyawning is, but I heard way too many commercials for it during last night's flight delay in Toronto.
• I’m too cheap frugal to spring for airport candy bars. And the cooler souvenir foods they stock are never kosher.
• I don’t sleep well in foreign beds.
• My emails pile up, because my laptop doesn’t always cooperate.
• I can’t write up shiur source sheets, without my library available to get direct quotes (no CD ROM drive on the laptop, either).
• In international travel, I can’t use my cell phone.
• I don’t actually get time to see new things; I spend most of my time in airports, because I don’t have the luxury of taking long trips.

So, for example, the wonderful Rebbetzin and I flew to Toronto late Sunday night, to spend Monday seeing houses (seven of them) before flying back home late Monday night. The people there were wonderful, we got a great Priceline deal on a good airport hotel for Sunday night, and we may even have a house soon, but I just get so thrown off. I had to cancel a trip to the RCA Convention for today. (I am not a convention type of person anyway, but I was supposed to present something, and I had already paid for the day… but such is life.)

One good laugh out of the trip, though: Back at Newark airport last night, on the parking shuttle, we noticed two windows on the bus. One was labelled “Emergency Exit." The next one was labelled “Non-Emergency Exit.”

I know what they meant, but that was not what came across…

I owe you 9 other honest scraps. And seven bloggers to tag with this award. Some other time, I hope.

Sorry, I have no lemons... but these two do

[This week's Haveil Havalim is here.]

Jendeis has honored me with a Lemonade Stand award, “for those who use the lemons in their lives to make lemonade, or who help do the same for others.”

I am flattered; as I have written elsewhere, “it’s rewarding to have someone say, “Good job,” especially when that someone is a blogger whose work you also respect.”

But, frankly, I don’t really have any lemons.

I know that could be taken as a pretty corny, not to mention disingenuous, line. Who doesn’t endure times when they hate their situations? Who doesn’t make decisions they regret, or just get beaten up by other people?

Come on, Rabbi – Don’t give me that line about “I have a great family, a great community…” I know you’re not always happy. I’ve seen you at 4:45 AM.

True; guilty as charged. But I am far more likely to get angry at myself for mis-handling a situation than I am to get upset about the situation itself. Not because of emunah [faith in Gd], not because I’m happy-go-lucky [ I am so not], but just because that’s my personality. I get annoyed with myself, and I’m good at it.

But she gave me the award, thank you very much. Time to move on to the obligation that comes with it: to pass along this award to “those who use the lemons in their lives to make lemonade.”

This is not easy for me; I don’t read too many blogs regularly. I feel guilty about this, first because other people are saying some pretty good things, and second because I enjoy it when they visit my little corner here. It’s sort of like expecting other people to come to your shiur, but not going to theirs. (Which, come to think of it, is something I do all the time.)

But I don’t read too many blogs on a regular basis, and of the ones I do read, most of them don’t engage in the lemons-to-lemonade exercise.

I used to read Wings Like a Dove, where Rivka struggled mightily to turn the table on some very serious lemons, the kind you can’t joke about, but she hasn’t posted since November. I hope she is well.

Jameel used to do the lemons-to-lemonade thing regarding life in Israel, but ever since Cast Lead started it’s been lemons all the way around.

And don’t get me started on Orthonomics, where even the roses smell lemon-fresh these days.

The Renegade Rebbetzin (no, not the same as my esteemed rebbetzin) is a perennial favorite of mine, but she actually glories in her lemons. Why bother seeing the good side of a congregant or shul issue when you can rant about it? [Please, RenReb, don’t change – I love reading that stuff.]

I guess there are two blogs I read regularly which fit the bill:

Everyone Needs Therapy, where Therapydoc describes lemons in detail. As a good doctor, she won’t turn them into lemonade for you, but she will help you turn them into lemonade yourself.

And good old Jack, who turns the lemons of aging into lemonade. Not for himself, mind you; he can’t get past the big 40 staring at him, and I suspect that as soon as 40 is gone, it’ll be 45 that frightens him. But he does turn the aging lemons into lemonade for me – because whenever I think about getting older, I can always say, “Yeah, but Jack’s a couple of years ahead of me.”

Doc, Jack - thanks for everything you do.

An award? For moi?

Leora, of Here in Highland Park, has chosen to honor The Rebbetzin’s Husband with the Premio Dardos award. Per her description:

The Prémio Dardos is given for recognition of cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values transmitted in the form of creative and original writing. These stamps were created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing affection and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web.

I am happily flabbergasted. Cultural, ethical, literary and personal values… and here I thought I was just talking about whatever was on my mind and in my life at the time. A little ranting, a little fun, a little whining, and a little Torah. And presto!

Okay, so it’s not like this is the Academy or the Nobel committee, but it’s rewarding to have someone say, “Good job,” especially when that someone is a blogger whose work you also respect. So thanks, Leora!

Now I have to decide upon whom I might bestow this award. That will require thought – not because of whom I might include, but because of whom I might unintentionally exclude. I rarely read any blogs, but there are many I enjoy reading when I can make the time. How could I give this to only a few?

On a separate note, I fried my home computer last night.

It was a foolish thing, all my fault. I read about the liquidation sales at Circuit City, and I’ve needed more RAM for a while, so I went out and picked up a unit. Bad move – it wasn’t compatible, or at least it didn’t fit right in the slot.

Being a stubbornly happy-go-lucky guy, though, and knowing that all sales were final, I thought I would see if maybe it might really be compatible after all. Who knows - maybe the fact that it doesn’t look like a good fit is more because I don’t understand the way it’s supposed to be fit, right? Why not? What could go wrong?

Well, the computer wouldn’t start. So I took the new RAM out… and the computer still wouldn’t start. It powers up, checks CD-ROM drives, then stalls in some kind of waiting mode. The monitor thinks it’s in Power Save mode, keyboard and mouse not activated.

So I tried various experiments, and I think it’s the old RAM unit. I did ground myself before starting, but I must have discharged static at some point anyway, or mis-handled the old RAM in some way.

So I’ve ordered new RAM, and have to wait for it. This is frustrating; I don’t wait well. Too many projects, and they depend on information I have stored on that computer. I did back up my system last month, thank Gd, but I am not about to unpack it on another computer, not when I can just wait two days.

So the projects are in limbo, and I’m spending more time on my shul computer. Frustrating, but it’s my own fault for being stubborn. I love being stubborn, but, boy, is it a pain sometimes.