A simple question, but it matters to me; I've been thinking about it for the past few weeks. I'd be happy to hear responses from the few people who are kind enough to visit my largely defunct blog:
What is your favourite part of preparing for Shabbos?
I ask because there is so much that is challenging and stressful about getting ready for Shabbos, and it can make the experience miserable. Perhaps looking for favourite parts might help?
Showing posts with label Calendar: Shabbat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Calendar: Shabbat. Show all posts
Monday, November 30, 2015
Sunday, November 4, 2012
A way to let go
Many years ago, at the start of my shul rabbinate, I learned to appreciate Shabbos.
Before that, my weekday schedule was full but it generally lacked real tension, items which would eat at me until they were concluded. Starting in shul life – as in most careers, I assume – meant that I had conflicts with others that needed resolution, long-term projects that were complicated and came with high stakes, and so on. It was only with Lecha Dodi (a song in the Kabbalat Shabbat segment of Friday night prayers) that I would have to shrug and say, "This will wait." I remember the lift that came with doing that for the first time, saying, "This is off my plate for the next 25 hours."
[As I have said on other occasions, I may be the only Jew who enjoys, and looks forward to, a three-day Yom Tov. Three days with my family, with a chance to rest, with a chance to turn off all of those conflicts and projects – who cares how many classes and speeches I need to present? This is olam haba!]
This past Friday night I chanced upon a technique that adds to my ability to tune out for Shabbos. Kabbalat Shabbat begins with six paragraphs of Tehillim [Psalms], which we are taught correlate with the six phases of Creation. This week, though, it occurred to me that each could also correlate with the six days of the previous week. So as I read each chapter, I thought about what had happened on that day, during the past week. To pick the big items: Sunday was a breakfast shiur, a hachnasas sefer torah [installation of a new Torah], and a dinner in honour of our shul's new Rabbi. Monday was a mess of phone calls and article-writing, a medical shiur and the onslaught of Hurricane Sandy. Tuesday was the arrival of leaders of Torah miTzion for their annual North American Convention, a Navi shiur, and cooking dinner (carrot and onion omelette) for the kids. Wednesday was the Convention, two shiurim, editing Toronto Torah. Thursday was more Convention, for the most part, as well as a meeting that brought me a world of frustration. Friday was more Convention, and preparation of shiurim for Shabbos.
As I read each chapter, I thought about the events from that day of the week, and tried to drop them from my mind, to see them as "done". Surprisingly, it worked pretty well. And so I could enter Lecha Dodi having let go, with a feeling that the week was over, and it was time for Shabbos. I could feel my shoulders lift.
Please let me know if you try it and it works for you, or send me your own techniques.
Before that, my weekday schedule was full but it generally lacked real tension, items which would eat at me until they were concluded. Starting in shul life – as in most careers, I assume – meant that I had conflicts with others that needed resolution, long-term projects that were complicated and came with high stakes, and so on. It was only with Lecha Dodi (a song in the Kabbalat Shabbat segment of Friday night prayers) that I would have to shrug and say, "This will wait." I remember the lift that came with doing that for the first time, saying, "This is off my plate for the next 25 hours."
[As I have said on other occasions, I may be the only Jew who enjoys, and looks forward to, a three-day Yom Tov. Three days with my family, with a chance to rest, with a chance to turn off all of those conflicts and projects – who cares how many classes and speeches I need to present? This is olam haba!]
This past Friday night I chanced upon a technique that adds to my ability to tune out for Shabbos. Kabbalat Shabbat begins with six paragraphs of Tehillim [Psalms], which we are taught correlate with the six phases of Creation. This week, though, it occurred to me that each could also correlate with the six days of the previous week. So as I read each chapter, I thought about what had happened on that day, during the past week. To pick the big items: Sunday was a breakfast shiur, a hachnasas sefer torah [installation of a new Torah], and a dinner in honour of our shul's new Rabbi. Monday was a mess of phone calls and article-writing, a medical shiur and the onslaught of Hurricane Sandy. Tuesday was the arrival of leaders of Torah miTzion for their annual North American Convention, a Navi shiur, and cooking dinner (carrot and onion omelette) for the kids. Wednesday was the Convention, two shiurim, editing Toronto Torah. Thursday was more Convention, for the most part, as well as a meeting that brought me a world of frustration. Friday was more Convention, and preparation of shiurim for Shabbos.
As I read each chapter, I thought about the events from that day of the week, and tried to drop them from my mind, to see them as "done". Surprisingly, it worked pretty well. And so I could enter Lecha Dodi having let go, with a feeling that the week was over, and it was time for Shabbos. I could feel my shoulders lift.
Please let me know if you try it and it works for you, or send me your own techniques.
Monday, November 14, 2011
A different view of Shabbos
["Wow, now that's going to cause trouble" post of the day, at Life in Israel]
Jewish literature is replete with diverse praises of Shabbos for its regenerative and social elements:
• It's a day of rest from creativity, time to curl up with a good book, time to recharge.
• It's an opportunity to connect with spouses and children and siblings and friends.
• It's a chance to gather as a religious community, for study and prayer and – of course – kiddush.
Just look at the song מה ידידות, an educational poem traced to 11th century Germany, which describes the day as a time for eating, singing, learning with children, sleeping and enjoying.
But here's a description that doesn't get much airtime: Shabbos is a day to retreat from everything and everyone, and communicate with Gd. No family, no friends, no books, no garrulous kiddush.
Witness:
Talmud Yerushalmi, Shabbos 15:3
Maimonides, Commentary to Mishnah, Shabbos 23:2
Lest one think these represent extreme views of pietists, the former is codified in Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 307:1, the latter in Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 307:17. [The latter source does add the caveat that some disagree and permit reading 'books of wisdom'.]
On one hand, I like this; I need to spend more time thinking about Gd. If Gd created me, and the purpose of my existence is to satisfy Divine expectations [in social relations as well as spiritual development, of course], shouldn't I set aside a regular time to contemplate that relationship? And might that go some way toward helping me feel Gd's presence on an on-going basis?
On the other hand: If I were to dedicate my weekly Shabbos 'time-out' for this sort of monkhood, when would I spend time on all of those other necessities – recharging, family, community?
But that other hand may not be a legitimate point. A person who doesn't have a knife can't decide that his fork is a knife – it's a fork. A person who doesn't have money can't decide to use someone else's funds as his own. And a person who hasn’t set aside time for recharging, family and community can't decide to use Gd's time for those purposes.
And it may not be the point at all; does my concern for recharging, family and community simply mask a fear that I couldn't spend an entire day contemplating my relationship with Gd?
Something to think about.
Jewish literature is replete with diverse praises of Shabbos for its regenerative and social elements:
• It's a day of rest from creativity, time to curl up with a good book, time to recharge.
• It's an opportunity to connect with spouses and children and siblings and friends.
• It's a chance to gather as a religious community, for study and prayer and – of course – kiddush.
Just look at the song מה ידידות, an educational poem traced to 11th century Germany, which describes the day as a time for eating, singing, learning with children, sleeping and enjoying.
But here's a description that doesn't get much airtime: Shabbos is a day to retreat from everything and everyone, and communicate with Gd. No family, no friends, no books, no garrulous kiddush.
Witness:
Talmud Yerushalmi, Shabbos 15:3
אמר רבי חנינא מדוחק התירו לשאול שלום בשבת אמר רבי חייא בר בא רבי שמעון בן יוחי כד הוה חמי לאימיה משתעיא סגין הוה אמר לה אימא שובתא היא
Rabbi Chanina said: It was only with difficulty that they permitted greeting people on Shabbat. Rabbi Chiyya bar Abba said: When Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai saw his mother speaking a great deal, he would say, 'Mother, it's Shabbos!' Maimonides, Commentary to Mishnah, Shabbos 23:2
הטעם שאסרו למנותם מן הכתב שמא יקרא אגרות בשבת, וזה אסור, שכל זולת ספרי הנבואה ופירושיהם אסור לקרותו לא בשבת ולא ביום טוב, ואפילו היה בו דברי חכמה ומדע.
One may read nothing on Shabbat or Yom Tov, beyond the books of the Prophets and their explanations. This even applies to works of wisdom and knowledge.Lest one think these represent extreme views of pietists, the former is codified in Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 307:1, the latter in Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 307:17. [The latter source does add the caveat that some disagree and permit reading 'books of wisdom'.]
On one hand, I like this; I need to spend more time thinking about Gd. If Gd created me, and the purpose of my existence is to satisfy Divine expectations [in social relations as well as spiritual development, of course], shouldn't I set aside a regular time to contemplate that relationship? And might that go some way toward helping me feel Gd's presence on an on-going basis?
On the other hand: If I were to dedicate my weekly Shabbos 'time-out' for this sort of monkhood, when would I spend time on all of those other necessities – recharging, family, community?
But that other hand may not be a legitimate point. A person who doesn't have a knife can't decide that his fork is a knife – it's a fork. A person who doesn't have money can't decide to use someone else's funds as his own. And a person who hasn’t set aside time for recharging, family and community can't decide to use Gd's time for those purposes.
And it may not be the point at all; does my concern for recharging, family and community simply mask a fear that I couldn't spend an entire day contemplating my relationship with Gd?
Something to think about.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Daf: Nazir 5a-10b
Get a gemara, or this will likely be unintelligible…
5a
We are consistently taught that a Gezeirah Shavah (or pleonasm, as Rabbi J. David Bleich translates it) is a received tradition, such that logic is ineffective in analyzing it. This is a message reiterated all through the gemara. Nonetheless, the middle passage on this page – היכא דאיכא דדמי לה etc – certainly sounds like there is logic at work here!
The gemara seems to counsel shaving on Friday afternoon, which is problematic given the gemara elsewhere warning not to shave on Friday afternoon! See the Aruch haShulchan Orach Chaim 251:3, who has everyone from Rif and Rambam to Arizal and GRA.
Perhaps in this case one has davened earlier. Alternatively, see the Rosh here, who may be solving precisely this problem with his "לאו דוקא פניא" statement.
It is rare that we use Gematria for halachah, but for another example see Rashi on אך-חלק in the beginning of Pesachim.
See also the Rosh here, who seems to be disturbed by the use of Gematria for halachah, such that he decides it’s only an asmachta.
6b
The Rosh decides that Rav Masna has been defeated.
8a
I cannot understand why everyone insists that ימות הלבנה refers to a lunar year. There is no such thing, astronomically or halachically, as a lunar year; the gemara in Rosh HaShanah is explicit on this point; our “lunar year” is simply a collection of twelve lunar months.
8b
A “digon” house seems to be brought up simply for the sake of fitting in with the trigon and tetragon house.
For those who don’t have a gemara in front of them – trigon is a triangle, a shape with three angles. You can have a house with three angles between its walls. Ditto for tetragon/square/four angles. But there is no such thing as a house – or any shape – with only two angles.
The only possibility I can imagine is one put forth at our Daf shiur, of a house with two canoe-shaped walls – but I don’t think this is what the gemara means.
10a
See the Rosh on the cow here being the korban of a nazir.
10b
The word תורף is interesting here.
Rosh takes it like מקום התורף to refer to that which is revealed, or which reveals. Tosafos seems to do the same.
To me, another possibility is that this is like תורף הגט in Gittin – the term תורף is used to refer to the essence of a legal document, the part with the actual names and contract-specific information, as opposed to the טופס which is the boilerplate language.
That would fit with the use here very nicely; the תורף is the essence.
5a
We are consistently taught that a Gezeirah Shavah (or pleonasm, as Rabbi J. David Bleich translates it) is a received tradition, such that logic is ineffective in analyzing it. This is a message reiterated all through the gemara. Nonetheless, the middle passage on this page – היכא דאיכא דדמי לה etc – certainly sounds like there is logic at work here!
The gemara seems to counsel shaving on Friday afternoon, which is problematic given the gemara elsewhere warning not to shave on Friday afternoon! See the Aruch haShulchan Orach Chaim 251:3, who has everyone from Rif and Rambam to Arizal and GRA.
Perhaps in this case one has davened earlier. Alternatively, see the Rosh here, who may be solving precisely this problem with his "לאו דוקא פניא" statement.
It is rare that we use Gematria for halachah, but for another example see Rashi on אך-חלק in the beginning of Pesachim.
See also the Rosh here, who seems to be disturbed by the use of Gematria for halachah, such that he decides it’s only an asmachta.
6b
The Rosh decides that Rav Masna has been defeated.
8a
I cannot understand why everyone insists that ימות הלבנה refers to a lunar year. There is no such thing, astronomically or halachically, as a lunar year; the gemara in Rosh HaShanah is explicit on this point; our “lunar year” is simply a collection of twelve lunar months.
8b
A “digon” house seems to be brought up simply for the sake of fitting in with the trigon and tetragon house.
For those who don’t have a gemara in front of them – trigon is a triangle, a shape with three angles. You can have a house with three angles between its walls. Ditto for tetragon/square/four angles. But there is no such thing as a house – or any shape – with only two angles.
The only possibility I can imagine is one put forth at our Daf shiur, of a house with two canoe-shaped walls – but I don’t think this is what the gemara means.
10a
See the Rosh on the cow here being the korban of a nazir.
10b
The word תורף is interesting here.
Rosh takes it like מקום התורף to refer to that which is revealed, or which reveals. Tosafos seems to do the same.
To me, another possibility is that this is like תורף הגט in Gittin – the term תורף is used to refer to the essence of a legal document, the part with the actual names and contract-specific information, as opposed to the טופס which is the boilerplate language.
That would fit with the use here very nicely; the תורף is the essence.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Purim vs. Shabbat? A Seudah Showdown
Tonight is your daughter’s eagerly anticipated return from a year of study abroad. You’ve prepared her favorite meal, spending hours in the kitchen to make sure all of the dishes will be perfect. You’ve even set the table with the finest silver, dressed in your best clothes, invited friends and relatives, decorated the house with pictures of your daughter and hung welcoming banners, all to make sure the atmosphere conveys your enthusiasm for her presence.
The hour arrives, there’s a knock at the door, you rush to the door to open it… and there she stands in a dirty sweatshirt, munching on a hot dog, relish spilling on to her fingers. “Hey,” she says, with a shrug, perhaps even a small burp. “What’s up?”
The “Homecoming” is Shabbos. The meal is our Friday night dinner, complete with fine food, beautiful clothes, honored guests and a beautiful home. The callous girl with the hot dog relish – that could be us, on any given Shabbos, if we were to make the mistake of sitting down to a big meal on Friday afternoon, before the start of Shabbos. Therefore, our Sages have taught us that in order to make sure we honor Shabbos properly, we should refrain from eating large meals on Friday afternoon (Pesachim 99b).
The idea is simple: Make sure that we will enjoy the Shabbos dinner, by waiting to eat until Shabbos is here.
There is one problem, though. This year, Purim occurs on a Friday, and Purim brings with it a Mitzvah of eating a Purim Seudah (feast). How can we eat our Purim feast, and still retain our hunger for the Shabbos meal that night? Must we sacrifice Purim for Shabbos, or Shabbos for Purim?
Two Acceptable Solutions
There are two halachic approaches to this dilemma:
1. Begin the Purim Seudah on Purim morning, before midday.
Midday is calculated as the midpoint between sunrise and sunset; this year, in Allentown, midday on Purim will be 1:09 PM (EDT). If one starts the Purim Seudah before midday, that still allows enough time to eat the meal, celebrate Purim, and then spend several hours building up an appetite for Shabbos. This approach is recommended by the Rama, Rabbi Moshe Isserles, the Ashkenazi author in the Code of Jewish Law (Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 695:2).
It is true that in a normal year we eat our Purim Seudah in the afternoon, but that’s a matter of convenience, in order to save the morning for delivering Mishloach Manot (Mishneh Berurah 695:8). There is no halachic reason to wait for the afternoon. Some authorities actually praise the practice of having the Seudah in the morning every year (cited in Mishneh Berurah 695:9).
The only real problem with this solution is the issue of practicality. People who go to work on Friday may not be able to enjoy a true Purim Seudah in the cubicle; in its ideal form, the Seudah involves a dressed-up family seated around a fully appointed table, singing Purim songs and talking about the holiday – not a quick deli sandwich scarfed down in front of a computer screen in between conference calls.
This practical problem leads to the proposal of a second solution:
2. The pores mappah solution.
Under “pores mappah,” an idea put forth talmudically (Pesachim 100a), one may begin his meal shortly before Candle Lighting time (which is 6:57 PM in Allentown this year).
At or before the time for candle lighting, one lights Shabbos candles, covers all bread, cake and/or cookies, recites Kiddush, and continues the meal as the Shabbos dinner. After the meal one davens Kabbalas Shabbos and Maariv. The term “pores mappah” means “spread a cloth,” referring to covering the food while reciting Kiddush.
This method reduces the disgrace to Shabbos, since one eats the Shabbos meal with a decent appetite. On the other hand, the Purim meal is a nice meal, with everyone home from work, dressed nicely and according the feast the honor it deserves.
This method does suffer from a few problems, though:
(A) Drinking: We are taught that as part of celebrating the ultimate joy of having our lives saved on Purim, we are supposed to imbibe alcohol at the Purim Seudah and reach the state in which we cannot tell the difference between “Cursed is Haman” and “Blessed is Mordechai” (Megilah 7b). Authorities differ on how much to drink, but it is clear that one who is not medically unable to drink, and who has a designated driver, should drink some alcohol - preferably enough that he feels lightheaded (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 695:2).
In a normal year, one may enjoy his Seudah, drink a little, and then sleep off the effects of the alcohol. Having a midday meal works for this issue, too. But if one drinks at a pores mappah meal, will he be able to coherently and respectfully daven Kabbalas Shabbos and Maariv afterward, not to mention have an appropriate Shabbos dinner?
Further, many people – myself included – have embraced the practice of drinking minimally at the Purim Seudah and then fulfilling the state of intoxication by taking a nap after the meal. This is an approach sanctioned by the Rama (Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 695:2). However, if one uses the pores mappah method then he doesn’t have any after-Seudah time to nap; by the time the Seudah is over, Purim is over as well.
(B) A second problem is that the way the pores mapah solution is presented in the Gemara and in the Code of Jewish Law (Orach Chaim 271:4), it does not seem to be an ideal, recommended, l’Chatchilah practice. It sounds more like something to be done when one has no other choice.
(C) A third problem arises in negotiating the specifics of the pores mappah meal itself. Does one include Al haNissim when reciting Birkat haMazon after the meal? Should one perhaps recite Birkat haMazon after the first part of the meal, and then act as though the second half is entirely a new meal? Does one cover only bread and cake during Kiddush, or other items as well? We do have practical guidelines for navigating these issues – but there are great debates involved, with big names on all sides.
The Communal Seudah
Although the pores mappah solution is intriguing, the communal Seudah at Congregation Sons of Israel will follow the first approach, that recommended by the Rama, by beginning before midday. We are bolstered by the views cited earlier, who believe that the Seudah should be a morning meal every year. Further, this will allow those who drink at their Seudah to fulfill the Mitzvos of both Shabbos and Purim properly.
We will enjoy a great meal of spaghetti and meatballs (and garlic bread!), starting at Noon, after which I will gladly go home and take a nap for as long as Amram, Meira, Rena and Aharon will permit. Join us for the meal, and let’s celebrate Purim together!
And an important addendum
I must stress something which I wish were obvious to all: People should not give alcohol to minors to drink on Purim. It is not necessary for their fulfillment of any Mitzvah, and it is a foolish and dangerous practice.
I would also add that it would be better for adults not to drink on Purim with young children present, as even that may be misunderstood by those children.
The finest joy is joy which centers around a Mitzvah, and this is the essence of Purim - 4 Mitzvot (Megilah, Sending Gifts of Food, Giving to the Poor and having a Feast) which are about experiencing joy and spreading joy.
For more on this theme see Shaarei Teshuvah of Rav Chaim Margaliyot, Orach Chaim 697:2.
The hour arrives, there’s a knock at the door, you rush to the door to open it… and there she stands in a dirty sweatshirt, munching on a hot dog, relish spilling on to her fingers. “Hey,” she says, with a shrug, perhaps even a small burp. “What’s up?”
The “Homecoming” is Shabbos. The meal is our Friday night dinner, complete with fine food, beautiful clothes, honored guests and a beautiful home. The callous girl with the hot dog relish – that could be us, on any given Shabbos, if we were to make the mistake of sitting down to a big meal on Friday afternoon, before the start of Shabbos. Therefore, our Sages have taught us that in order to make sure we honor Shabbos properly, we should refrain from eating large meals on Friday afternoon (Pesachim 99b).
The idea is simple: Make sure that we will enjoy the Shabbos dinner, by waiting to eat until Shabbos is here.
There is one problem, though. This year, Purim occurs on a Friday, and Purim brings with it a Mitzvah of eating a Purim Seudah (feast). How can we eat our Purim feast, and still retain our hunger for the Shabbos meal that night? Must we sacrifice Purim for Shabbos, or Shabbos for Purim?
Two Acceptable Solutions
There are two halachic approaches to this dilemma:
1. Begin the Purim Seudah on Purim morning, before midday.
Midday is calculated as the midpoint between sunrise and sunset; this year, in Allentown, midday on Purim will be 1:09 PM (EDT). If one starts the Purim Seudah before midday, that still allows enough time to eat the meal, celebrate Purim, and then spend several hours building up an appetite for Shabbos. This approach is recommended by the Rama, Rabbi Moshe Isserles, the Ashkenazi author in the Code of Jewish Law (Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 695:2).
It is true that in a normal year we eat our Purim Seudah in the afternoon, but that’s a matter of convenience, in order to save the morning for delivering Mishloach Manot (Mishneh Berurah 695:8). There is no halachic reason to wait for the afternoon. Some authorities actually praise the practice of having the Seudah in the morning every year (cited in Mishneh Berurah 695:9).
The only real problem with this solution is the issue of practicality. People who go to work on Friday may not be able to enjoy a true Purim Seudah in the cubicle; in its ideal form, the Seudah involves a dressed-up family seated around a fully appointed table, singing Purim songs and talking about the holiday – not a quick deli sandwich scarfed down in front of a computer screen in between conference calls.
This practical problem leads to the proposal of a second solution:
2. The pores mappah solution.
Under “pores mappah,” an idea put forth talmudically (Pesachim 100a), one may begin his meal shortly before Candle Lighting time (which is 6:57 PM in Allentown this year).
At or before the time for candle lighting, one lights Shabbos candles, covers all bread, cake and/or cookies, recites Kiddush, and continues the meal as the Shabbos dinner. After the meal one davens Kabbalas Shabbos and Maariv. The term “pores mappah” means “spread a cloth,” referring to covering the food while reciting Kiddush.
This method reduces the disgrace to Shabbos, since one eats the Shabbos meal with a decent appetite. On the other hand, the Purim meal is a nice meal, with everyone home from work, dressed nicely and according the feast the honor it deserves.
This method does suffer from a few problems, though:
(A) Drinking: We are taught that as part of celebrating the ultimate joy of having our lives saved on Purim, we are supposed to imbibe alcohol at the Purim Seudah and reach the state in which we cannot tell the difference between “Cursed is Haman” and “Blessed is Mordechai” (Megilah 7b). Authorities differ on how much to drink, but it is clear that one who is not medically unable to drink, and who has a designated driver, should drink some alcohol - preferably enough that he feels lightheaded (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 695:2).
In a normal year, one may enjoy his Seudah, drink a little, and then sleep off the effects of the alcohol. Having a midday meal works for this issue, too. But if one drinks at a pores mappah meal, will he be able to coherently and respectfully daven Kabbalas Shabbos and Maariv afterward, not to mention have an appropriate Shabbos dinner?
Further, many people – myself included – have embraced the practice of drinking minimally at the Purim Seudah and then fulfilling the state of intoxication by taking a nap after the meal. This is an approach sanctioned by the Rama (Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 695:2). However, if one uses the pores mappah method then he doesn’t have any after-Seudah time to nap; by the time the Seudah is over, Purim is over as well.
(B) A second problem is that the way the pores mapah solution is presented in the Gemara and in the Code of Jewish Law (Orach Chaim 271:4), it does not seem to be an ideal, recommended, l’Chatchilah practice. It sounds more like something to be done when one has no other choice.
(C) A third problem arises in negotiating the specifics of the pores mappah meal itself. Does one include Al haNissim when reciting Birkat haMazon after the meal? Should one perhaps recite Birkat haMazon after the first part of the meal, and then act as though the second half is entirely a new meal? Does one cover only bread and cake during Kiddush, or other items as well? We do have practical guidelines for navigating these issues – but there are great debates involved, with big names on all sides.
The Communal Seudah
Although the pores mappah solution is intriguing, the communal Seudah at Congregation Sons of Israel will follow the first approach, that recommended by the Rama, by beginning before midday. We are bolstered by the views cited earlier, who believe that the Seudah should be a morning meal every year. Further, this will allow those who drink at their Seudah to fulfill the Mitzvos of both Shabbos and Purim properly.
We will enjoy a great meal of spaghetti and meatballs (and garlic bread!), starting at Noon, after which I will gladly go home and take a nap for as long as Amram, Meira, Rena and Aharon will permit. Join us for the meal, and let’s celebrate Purim together!
And an important addendum
I must stress something which I wish were obvious to all: People should not give alcohol to minors to drink on Purim. It is not necessary for their fulfillment of any Mitzvah, and it is a foolish and dangerous practice.
I would also add that it would be better for adults not to drink on Purim with young children present, as even that may be misunderstood by those children.
The finest joy is joy which centers around a Mitzvah, and this is the essence of Purim - 4 Mitzvot (Megilah, Sending Gifts of Food, Giving to the Poor and having a Feast) which are about experiencing joy and spreading joy.
For more on this theme see Shaarei Teshuvah of Rav Chaim Margaliyot, Orach Chaim 697:2.
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