Friday, April 15, 2011

You can't make this stuff up

File this under “You did what?!”

In February of 2009 I signed up – yes, voluntarily – to receive email from DMA, the Direct Marketing Association. I can’t remember why. Maybe I was looking for marketing tips for my community, or perhaps I wanted to order a book from them, I don’t know.

But I actually volunteered to receive email from the trade association for commercial emailers, cataloguers and telemarketers. Something must have been wrong with me that month.

Anyway – I’ve spent the past 30 months trying to get off of their various email lists. It’s like a Whack-a-Mole game; every time I unsubscribe from one list, I receive email from a new list. Or three new lists.

Don't get me wrong, I know that telemarketers, flyer publishers and so on are people like you and me, trying to make a living in a hard economy. I understand that. But being on the receiving end...

So the other day I received this remarkable DMA email, with the subject line, “Nominate a Leader-Make them a Legend”:

Who inspired you?
Nominate a direct marketing legend to the DMA Hall of Fame

Do you know someone who has made significant contributions to direct marketing? Someone who has established themselves as a leader in Interactive, Mobile, Social, Print, or TV? Someone who has mentored and inspired, achieved greatness and encouraged excellence?

Well, now is the time to give them the credit they deserve. Nominate them for the DMA Hall of Fame—the highest honor an individual can receive in the direct marketing community.

Anyone can be nominated — a boss, a mentor, a colleague. And hey, if you’re the best direct marketer you know, you can even nominate yourself. Nominees do not have to be DMA members, they simply have to be successful, inspiring, and influential.

So who do you think deserves to be honored? Nominate them today (or at least by April 30th). It’s quick. It’s easy. It’s the Hall of Fame.

A Hall of Fame for the people who brought you junk flyers and telemarketing. You can’t make this stuff up.

I can hear the acceptance speeches now:

"Growing up in the South Bronx, I always dreamed of making the Hall of Fame, like any red-blooded American boy. I listened to stories of my idols, men like Robert, women like Sandy, who would call skillfully thirty homes simultaneously, knowing exactly which buttons to press to reach a single mother putting her children to bed, or a man who had an hour to be with his kids before going back to work for third shift, and with some kind of sixth sense understanding which one to keep on the line while letting the others receive dead air when they answered the phone.

"I knew that this was what I wanted to do when I grew up - and that I would do it well, well enough that one day all of you would gather to pay tribute to my work, my persistence, my sales, my persistence, my dialing ability, my persistence. [emcee tries to signal him to wrap up, but he waves off the signal, to the knowing smiles of the crowd] I want to thank my mentors, my role models..."

Chag kasher v’sameach.


  1. Everyone has their dreams. ;) Chag Kasher V'Same'ach

  2. not all direct marketers are bad...

  3. Jack-
    I thought you would like this one. Maybe they could also have a Hall of Fame for great DMA nemeses.

    True - but the ones I'm talking about definitely don't ask permission...

  4. you are preparing us to laugh and enjoy.

    Chag kasher v'sameach.