Pesach Seder Companion 5777!

My Beit Midrash began publishing a Seder Companion two years ago, with our 5775 version, and continued last year with the 5776 edition.

This year, with 18 Seder-related Divrei Torah which have not appeared in the previous editions, I am glad to present our Pesach Seder Companion 5777! Click the image to be taken to it.

A generation that does not know how to ask

A bit of a depressing thought (which is why I didn’t publish it before Pesach). I should develop further, but this is not the time of year for cynicism...

The Talmud Yerushalmi (Pesachim 10:4) lists four types of children for whom we are instructed והגדת לבנך, “Tell your children” about the Exodus. One is חכם – wise. One is רשע – wicked. One is טיפש – foolish (in contemporary haggadot, the edition often says תם, simple, but the meaning is the same). And one is שאינו יודע לשאול – the one who does not know how to ask. These are the four children of our Seder.

Maharal, like many others, explains that the one who "does not know how to ask" is of weak intellect. This is difficult, though; is the אינו יודע לשאול like the תם-טיפש, just less bright?

Rav Nachman of Breslov (Likutei Moharan 30:6) explained this child differently – he “does not know how to repent and ask for forgiveness from G-d for sins of which he is unaware.”

Taking Rav Nachman’s idea further: The “one who does not know how to ask” is indeed bright. He can make deductions and declare assertions and debate brilliantly - but he does not know how to ask questions, with a genuine interest in learning that which he does not already know.

We are riding the wave of a communication revolution, in which all of us can publish. Blogs, Facebook, Twitter, and any number of photo-sharing apps offer platforms for us to proclaim our beliefs. But these media offer very little in the way of two-way communication. (And writing, “Let me know in the comments” when you really mean, “Compliment me, or tell me why you disagree so that I will be able to rebut your arguments,” doesn’t count.)

And we live in a world which interprets humility as uncertainty, and a gentle demeanour as timidity, encouraging us always to express ourselves, and to do so with force. Just look at our presidential candidates.

The result is a style which emphasizes zingers, supporting data, boasting, questions solely for the purpose of rhetorical device, and QED. There is very little inquiry for the sincere purpose of learning another point of view. We have become a generation that does not know how to ask.

Perhaps we need people to set our teeth on edge…

The Tzaddik at the Seder?

In the run-up to Pesach, I delivered a shiur on "Pesach: When the Questions Matter More than the Answers" in a few different venues. On a couple of those occasions, as a tangent to the shiur, I asked this question: Why do we have a wise, wicked, simple and unquestioning child in our list of four, but we don't have a tzaddik (righteous child) in the list?

Some suggested that the wise child is righteous, but I disagree.

Some suggested that we cannot ascribe righteousness to our children, but I disagree for two reasons: 1) These are not necessarily small children, and 2) If we cannot ascribe righteousness, how can we ascribe wickedness?

Some suggested that each of these characteristics is only a trait, and not a complete person, and so we cannot discuss a child as righteous, which is a collective trait. I personally agree that these are traits, but I don't see how one could apply this to righteousness and not to wickedness.

At our Seder, I noted that the four children are all presented to us by the Torah in the context of telling our children about our departure from Egypt. The Torah is advising us that we must speak to each of these children in a manner appropriate to them - regardless of their disparate religious personalities.

If so, then perhaps the message of the omission of the tzaddik is this: Each of our children needs the conversation about the Exodus, in a different way. We should see none of them (and none of ourselves, although we may be parents and uncles and aunts and grandparents) as "tzaddik", meaning complete, and being beyond that conversation. The goal is to educate them properly, so that they will grow toward that state, but a parent should never assume that the child is already there. Look for your child's particular need, and address it, to initiate your child into the history and religious identity of our nation.

How I learned to love Mah Nishtanah

I want to write many posts, but I have far too many responsibilities to indulge in writing them. I can justify spending time on this post, though, because it is a מצוה עוברת - it is relevant for our upcoming celebration of Pesach.

I cannot recall ever liking Mah Nishtanah. The contrived set of four questions, taught to children so that they would be able to ask them, just never appealed to me. And then, just last week, my perspective changed entirely.

I was presenting a shiur which was supposed to have a brief "Pesach Halachah: Questions and Answers" component, followed by a dvar torah, but then we began talking about what counts for karpas, and then for marror, and the Q/A expanded to take over the shiur.

My thoughts on karpas are a bit outside the mainstream, as I advocate for pineapple and banana. Ditto re: marror; I believe that horseradish root should not be used for marror.

At the same time, I am a strong believer in minhag (custom), as the glue that holds Jewish families together across time. Those actions we pioneer express our individuality and concretize our special relationship with Gd and with the Torah. Whether the song we sing first at a Shabbos table, or the order in which we bless our children, or the special garment we wear when davening, we stamp our Judaism with our own seal. When our descendants keep these for themselves, that overlay of family links them back to us, merging generations of Jewish identity.

This is not something to be trifled with.

So I don't want people to change their family minhag for karpas, even as I advocate these other species. (Changing marror is more complicated, as I seriously question - echoing the words of many great poskim - the eligibility of horseradish root.) And I tried to explain that at the class. And I hit upon the perfect example of why minhag is so wonderful: Mah Nishtanah.

The script for Mah Nishtanah goes back to the Beit haMikdash (Temple) itself; one of the questions was altered when we were no longer able to bring the korban pesach (Pesach offering), but the rest remained the same. Which means that for well more than 2,000 years - we don't know just how far back, only that this text was common in Temple times, which ended in the year 68 C.E. - Jews, every year, around the world, living in a broad range of conditions, have sat at a seder table and put forth these same questions.

I try to imagine my great-grandparents in Western Europe; their great-grandparents in Poland; their great-grandparents in Turkey; before that in Spain; before that in Germany; before that in England; before that in Morocco; and so on. All of them, reclining at the table and listening to the youngest children ask these questions.

These particular questions are not a halachic requirement for the Seder; they are custom - but how could anyone remove them?

In truth, Mah Nishtanah is not the only text we have kept reciting for millenia; Shma is far older, and it is said daily. But the image of the family gathering, and the communal recitation, grabs me.

I am not fully articulating what is in my heart here; I am rushing this post, because there is no time to write it properly. But I hope I have conveyed the main point: for me, the connection is what minhag is all about. And finally, I have come to appreciate Mah Nishtanah.

Pesach Night at the Windsor Arms

At Purim time, many months ago, attendees of a weekly shiur [class] of mine got together and purchased a gift certificate for two, for my Rebbetzin and me to enjoy dinner at the Windsor Arms Hotel, here in Toronto. It's a fancy establishment, and they provide kosher dinners by reservation on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings. You order an appetizer, a main and a dessert, and that's $75 (before taxes), and there is a wine list as well.

The generous idea of the shiur was to offer a night's break before Pesach, but that wasn’t entirely realistic. As a result of the less-than-sane schedules we kept this past year, we couldn't take advantage of the generous and gracious gift. It was not until last week that we were able to use it.

I must say, I enjoyed the experience immensely; as some of you know, I admire and enjoy well-prepared food. [The menu is available here; the picture isn't great, and you'll need to magnify it in order to see anything above the wine list.] But more, it gave me an insight into what a Pesach Seder should be.

The room was luxuriously appointed. The server was congenial. The pace was leisurely; we could talk and take our time. And so, days after Tishah b'Av, I felt like I was enjoying what a Seder was meant to be: A slow-paced discussion, in beautiful surroundings adding to one's feeling of well-being if not royalty. We don't get to Shulchan Aruch for hours not because the Haggadah has placed page after page of text in our way, but because we aren't in any rush, we've broken from the hurly-burly haste of our lives and we are free to discuss and debate and reflect, and the food will be there when we are ready for it.

Of course, that doesn't happen at our sedarim, in general.
First, because the stress of preparing for Pesach leaves people frazzled.
Second, because the more luxury you create with fine dishes and cutlery, the more you need to clean up afterward and have piled up in your kitchen until the end of Yom Tov, ruining the atmosphere considerably.
Third, because the people who are supposed to be enjoying the seder are the same people who need to prepare the food in the kitchen.
And fourth, because the leisurely discussion is enforced by the pages of text, and isn't necessarily good for small children and elderly relatives and people who aren't familiar with the nature of Torah study and debate and don't understand what's going on.

Still, I feel that this is the answer to the age-old question of why we hold the meal at the Seder until after page after page of discussion. It's not meant to be torture; it's meant to show that we are taking our time, we are not rushed, we are enjoying a beautiful table, wonderful company, and the luxury of being able to proceed at our own pace.

[And yes, this is a direct contrast with the chipazon haste of Egypt, but that's a topic for another time.]

Cap and Gown and Kittel

This past Sunday, Yeshiva University Canada held a Convocation, honouring three remarkable people - Joseph Lebovic, Wolf Lebovic and Dr. Joseph Kerzner - for their life's work. As part of the ceremony, I marched down and delivered the Invocation, in cap and gown. Friends were kind enough to send me cell phone photos of the occasion; here is the least goofy one I could find, click to expand it in all of its fuzzy glory:

The costume was ridiculously impractical. These gowns have no pockets, so I couldn't keep my speech in a pocket, and I couldn't get to my suit's pockets beneath the gown (the paper is hiding in my right sleeve, and in the photo above I am praying it doesn't slide out as I'm walking). The gowns are hot, of course. What colour sash do you wear, and what does it represent? (Mine: My graduate school career at New York University, since the rental company didn't provide a rabbinical sash. Go figure.) The sash is hooked to a shirt button to keep it in position - but which button, and how do you keep that from messing with the zipper of the gown, and your tie? And of course, the hat raises all sorts of questions: Elastic in back or front? Corner in front or at an angle? Tassle on left or right, front or back - and how do you keep it there? Hat on or off while speaking? And if it's off, how do you get it back on afterward, in the right way, while on stage? And so on.

And yet, people do it. Indeed, according to one my gowned comrades, he had to wear such an outfit while taking exams in university in England. [Hogwarts, perhaps?] It reminded me, actually, of the kittel I wear at the seder, which until Convocation was the most impractical costume I could remember ever having worn in my adult life. Sure - recline at a table for a few hours in a white garment, while eating crumby matzah, pouring and drinking four cups of wine, and consuming a meal. Really? It's not as hot as the gown, but that's about the only advantage.

Of course, one reason we engage in costumes is that they help us to communicate the mood of a moment - the purity and celebration of a kittel, the sobriety of a gown. And perhaps they also serve a basic human need for ceremony, even in our casual generation, for dressing up and following a set of protocols that govern an occasion.

And then there is another advantage: They help us more, at that moment, with the event we are marking, and with similar events we have experienced, than with the rest of our lives. Special costumes link together the times that we are in costume, making those events stand out, more preent in our minds. I imagine that at my seder this year, as we begin to pour the cups, I'm going to remember the Convocation and the gown. But I will also remember the seder of years past, and wearing the kittel then, and what happened on those occasions. They will be more real to me. I will become a person of the seder.

Perhaps it would be good for people to have special, dedicated, year-after-year seder clothes - not as a minhag, just as something they do. Even for those who don't wear a kittel, perhaps a dedicated hat or jacket or scarf or tie or necklace or brooch or something, to communicate the mood of the moment, to dress up, and to link together the identity of each year's seder.

Just a thought.

Rav Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin (Netziv) on Right-Wing, Left-Wing and Jewish Unity, Part IV

This is the fifth installment in a translation of Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin's responsum on Jewish unity. The Netziv continues to respond to an editorial which argued that observant Jews should separate from less-observant Jews, for the sake of protecting their piety. For previous parts of this series, click here.

In this part, the Netziv argues that Jews don’t even separate from members of other religions, despite specific instructions to do so and despite the evidence of millenia of Jewish suffering associated with assimilation – and so any drive like this would be unsuccessful. He then continues to contend that separation isn’t the right strategy, in any case; rather, the emphasis should be upon spreading study of Torah.

Second: HaShem desires that we should be separate from the other nations and alone, as it is written, ‘Gd will guide them to be alone.” Bilam said, “They are a nation who dwells alone, and will not be counted among the nations,” meaning that when the Jews are alone and do not mix among them, they will dwell at rest, and when they mix among the nations then they will not be considered an independent nation. It is also written, “And Israel dwelled securely, alone, the eye of Yaakov,” and the meaning of “the eye of Yaakov” is Gd’s desire, His vision, and this is that Yisrael should dwell securely with the nations, not to compete with them, to be alone, meaning to separate from the nations of the world and not to be mixed in with them.

And yet, despite these instructions, we have not separated on our own from the nations, as is seen in the Talmud (Sanhedrin 104), “It is written, ‘How did she come to dwell alone,’ and Rabbah cited R’ Yochanan, saying, “I [Gd] said, ‘And Israel dwelled securely, alone,’ and now we have come to, ‘Why does she dwell alone’ for the nations distance themselves from the Jews on their own.”…

And from the start Gd warned Avraham, “Your children will be strangers in a land that is not theirs,” and this was not only prophecy but command and warning, to make it so. This is why it is written regarding Yaakov, “And he sojourned there,” and the Sages taught, “This teaches that he did not descend there to sink in, but to sojourn there…” This does not mean that Yaakov descended with intentions not to remain there for his entire life but to remain only for some years until the famine would end. This cannot be said, for Yaakov had already heard from Gd, “I will make you a great nation there,” and so he knew that he would be there for many years, and that this would fulfill Gd’s word to Avraham, “Your children will be strangers in a land that is not theirs, and they will be made to work and they will be oppressed for four hundred years!”

Rather, “He did not descend there to sink in” means that he did not descend to become a citizen of the land, as Pharaoh wished and demonstrated in honoring Yaakov and his children. Yaakov said that he did not wish for this citizenship, but, “We have come to sojourn in the land,” to be strangers in a land that is not ours. He guarded the word of Gd to Avraham, “Your children will be strangers,” and Gd’s word stands forever.

Because of this Divine instruction, what does Gd despite all of our attempts in exile to become like, and become one with, the nations? Gd turns the heart of the nations to distance the Jews and isolate them. This is why we say in the Haggadah, after the verse, “And He said to Avraham: Know that your children will be strangers in a land that is not their own,” “This is what stood for our ancestors and for us, that not only one stood to eradicate us, but in every generation they stand against us to eradicate us, and Gd saves us from their hands.” “This” cannot refer to the promise to Avraham that we would exit with great wealth, for that was only stated regarding Egypt… Rather, “This” refers to Gd’s word, “Your children will be strangers.” This promise stood for our ancestors and for us, guaranteeing that in every generation they would stand against us to eradicate us, when the Jews do not wish to fulfill Gd’s word of being strangers in order to be a separately identified nation. We try to draw near and join with them, and therefore they stand upon us to eradicate us. But Gd saves us from their hand.

This is also why we say, “Go learn from what Lavan the Aramean tried to do.” Lest someone who considers himself wise say that the opposite is true, that if only we were completely integrated with the nations then we would not be hated by them and they would not try to destroy us – to this we reply, “Go learn from what Lavan the Aramean tried to do.” We were very close to him; all of us were his children! And yet he tried to uproot everything. “Everything” does not only refer to Yaakov, for then it would have said, “tried to kill our father.” Rather, the meaning of “everything” is all of Judaism…

And yet, despite all of this, it has been difficult for us to distance ourselves from idolaters, because it is against the natural human inclination to join with friends, whether they are good or bad. How, then, could we tell our children to separate from each other in all of the ways of our world?!

Rather, if we wish to strengthen religion in our midst and not let it weaken in our hearts and in the hearts of our children, then we must study the earlier generations, as it is written,“I will learn from the elders.” When righteous King Chizkiyahu saw that the pillars and foundations of religion became weak in the days of Achaz, what did he do? He placed a sword in the study hall and declared, “One who will not involve himself in Torah should be stabbed with the sword!” Even though this study would be for entirely wrong motives, meaning it would not be for the sake of the mitzvah of Torah study, and certainly it would not be out of love of Gd but only to save themselves from death, still, this point strengthened religion effectively…

So we should strngthen religion by spreading Torah in study halls, and developing all possible strategies to strengthen public Torah study, and not to examine whether people are studying for proper motivations or not…

-
The Hebrew text associated with this part is:

שנית הלא אפי' עם אוה"ע שרצון ד’ שנהיה נפרדים מהם ולהיות בדד כדכתיב ד’ בדד ינחנו, ובלעם אמר הן עם לבדד ישכון ובגוים לא יתחשב, וביאורו בשעה שהוא לבדד ואינו מתערב עמהם ישכון במנוחה, ובגוים, בשעה שהוא מתערב עם הגוים עו"ג לא יתחשב אינו נחשב לגוי בפ"ע, וישכון ישראל בטח בדד עין יעקב, פירושו דעין יעקב היינו תשוקתו ושימת עינו היה שישכון ישראל בטח עם אוה"ע היינו שלא יתחרו עמהם וגם להיות בדד היינו להפרד מאוה"ע בלי התערבות, וכ"ז לא הועיל לנו להפרד מן העו"ג ע"ד דאיתא (בסנהדרין דף קד) איכה ישבה בדד אמר רבה אר"י אני אמרתי וישכון ישראל בטח בדד עכשיו איכה ישבה בדד, שאוה"ע מתרחקים ממנו, ובפסחים (דף קיח) איתא מ"ד בזר עמים קרבות יחפצון מי גרם לישראל שיתפזרו כ"כ בעמים קרבות יחפצון, עבור מה שחפצים להתקרב עם העו"ג ביותר ומראש הזהיר הקב"ה את א"א כי גר יהיה זרעך בארץ לא להם, ואין זה דבר נבואי לבד אלא צווי ואזהרה שיהי' כן ומשום זה כתיב ביעקב אבינו ויגר שם, ודרשו חז"ל מלמד שלא ירד להשתקע אלא לגור שם כמו שנאמר לגור בארץ באנו, ואין הפי' שלא ירד להשתקע כל ימי חייו אלא לגור איזה שנים עד כלות הרעב בארץ, דודאי אאל"כ שהרי יעקב כבר שמע מפי ד’ כי לגוי גדול אשימך שם, וידע בזה כי הרבה שנים יהיו שמה וכי זה הוא דבר ד’ לא"א כי גר יהיה זרעך בארץ לא להם ועבדום וענו אותם ארבע מאות שנה אלא משמעות שלא ירד להשתקע היינו להיות כאזרח הארץ כמו שיהי' לרצון לפרעה אשר הוקיר את יעקב וזרעו אבל יעקב אמר שאינו חפץ בזה אלא לגור בארץ באנו, להיות גרים בארץ לא לנו, והיינו משום דשמר דבר ד’ לאברהם כי גר יהיה זרעך וגו', ודבר ד’ יקום לעולם, ע"כ כל מה שאנחנו משתדלים בגלות להשתוות ולהתאחד עמהם מה עושה הקב"ה, מסב לב אוה"ע להרחיקם ולעשות אותם בדד, והיינו שאנו אומרים בהגדה אחר שאנו אומרים זה המקרא ויאמר לאברם ידוע תדע כי גר יהיה זרעך בארץ לא להם וגו' והיא שעמדה לאבותינו ולנו שלא אחד בלבד עמד עלינו לכלותנו אלא שבכל דור ודור עומדים עלינו לכלותנו והקב"ה מצילנו מידם, וא"א לפרש והיא היינו הבטחה שהיה ואחרי כן יצאו ברכוש גדול וגו' שהרי זה לא הי' אלא במצרים וא"כ אין בזה שום רמז על כל דור אלא ה"פ, והיא, היינו דבר ד’ כי גר יהיה זרעך היא שעמדה לאבותינו ולנו שבכל דור ודור עומדים עלינו לכלותנו, והוא משום שאין רוצים להקים דבר ד’ כי גר יהיה זרעך כדי להיות גוי מצוין בפ"ע, ואנו משתדלים להתקרב ולהתאחד עמהם ע"כ עומדים עלינו לכלותנו אלא שהקב"ה מצילנו מידם, וע"ז אנו אומרים צא ולמד מה בקש לבן הארמי וכו' שלא יבא מתחכם ויאמר להיפך אלא אם היינו מעורבים לגמרי עם הגוים לא היינו שנואים להם ולא בקשו לכלותנו ע"ז אנו אומרים צא ולמד מלבן הארמי שהרי אנו היינו מקורבים עמו הרבה שהרי כולנו בניו, ובכ"ז בקש לעקור את הכל, משמעות הכל אינו מתפרש על יעקב לבדו דא"כ היה לנו לומר בקש להרוג את אבינו, אלא משמעות את הכל כל היהדות, וזה אנו למדים מדכתיב ארמי אובד אבי בהווה אלא הכונה שלא רק באותה שעה שפגע וחשדו בגנבה בקש להרגו אלא גם אחר שנוכח על צדקו ואין לו עליו מאומה מ"מ אילו היה בידו להרגו היה הורגו, ובאמת מבואר הכי בלשון לבן שאמר ליעקב יש לאל ידי לעשות עמכם רע ואלהי אביכם וגו' ולכאורה אינו מובן למי דבר בלשון רבים הלא עם יעקב לבדו דבר עד כה וכי אפשר שרצה להרוג גם בנותיו ובניהם, אלא שכאן דבר עם ההולכים אחר יעקב היינו שנתגיירו והלכו עם יעקב כמו שכתוב בין אחי ובין אחיך, ולכולם היה ברצונו להרוג אע"ג שאין לו עליהם מאומה אבל בקש לעקור את היהדות, ואע"ג שלא התרחקו מעולם מלבן וזרעו אלא מ"מ בקש לעקור את היהדות, וכ"ז היה בשביל שהיו קרובים ומעורבים עם לבן ולא היו כגרים בעירם, ומזה יש ללמוד דכל מה שהיינו מתקרבים עם העו"ג, יותר היו מרחקים אותנו ומבקשים לאבדנו ואחר כ"ז היה קשה עלינו להתרחק מהעו"ג משום שהוא נגד טבע בני אדם להתחבר עם רעים בין טובים בין רעים ואיך אמרנו לבנינו להיות נפרדים איש מאת רעהו בכל הליכות עולם לנו:

אלא אם באנו לחזק את הדת בקרבנו ושלא ירף בלבנו ובלב בנינו עלינו להתבונן מדורות הראשונים כדכתיב מזקנים אתבונן, והנה בשעה שראה יחזקיהו המלך הצדיק שנתרופפו עמודי ויסודי הדת בימי אחז, מה עשה נעץ חרב בביהמ"ד ואמר כל מי שאינו עוסק בתורה ידקר בחרב, ואע"ג דא"כ יהיה הלמוד שלא לשמה ממש, היינו שלא לשם מצות ת"ת ומכש"כ שלא באהבת ה' אלא כדי שלא יהרוגו, מ"מ זה הפרט החזיק את הדת ע"צ היותר טוב ומועיל כידוע:

ויאשיהו המלך החסיד כשראה את החרבן וישראל יגלה מעל אדמתו והיה מקום לחוש שתאבד תורה ויהדות ח"ו מישראל מה עשה כתיב (בדה"י ב') ויאמר יאשיה ללוים המבינים לכל ישראל תנו את ארון הקודש בבית אשר בנה שלמה מלך ישראל אין לכם משא בכתף עתה עבדו את ה' אלהיכם ואת עמו ישראל. והנה אמרו חז"ל (במ' יומא דף נב:) תנו את ארון הקודש וגו' היינו שגנז את הארון, אבל לא נתבאר מה אומרו עתה עבדו את ה' אלהיכם ואת עמו ישראל, במה הגיע היום לעבוד באופן אחר ממה שהיה עד כה, וגם קשה להבין דברו אין לכם משא בכתף וכו' וכי עד כה היו נושאים את הארון, וכבר עמדו בזה בירושלמי שקלים ואכ"מ, אבל הענין בשביל שהיו עד כה הכהנים גדולים משוקעים בהתבודדות ואהבה ודביקות לה', וכך היו הלוים קדושי עליון, וא"כ לא היו יכולין להרביץ תורה ברבים ולהרבות תלמידים שמפריעים הדביקות כמש"כ לעיל, והיה מכונה עבודה קדושה זו בשם מרכבה לשכינה ובלשון המקרא נקרא בשם משא בכתף מקום משכן הדעת וכמו שבארנו בהע"ד לשון המקרא כי עבודת הקדש עליהם בכתף ישאו, ועתה הזהיר המלך החסיד, שאין לכם משא בכתף כלומר אין לכם להתבודד ולהיות שקועים באהבת ה' ולהיות ספונים בפ"ע אלא עתה עבדו את ה' ואת עמו ישראל יחד, היינו במה שילמדו תורה ברבים ועפ"י דבר המלך קמו אז החרש והמסגר אלף כולם עושי מלחמה ותניא בספרי פ' האזינו שהיו עושים מלחמתה של תורה ואחריהם באו אנשי כנה"ג והזהירו עוד והעמידו תלמידים הרבה ובזה נתקיימה תורה ויהדות בישראל:

כך עלינו לעשות להחזיק הדת להרבות תורה בבתי מדרשים ולעשות כל תחבולות שאפשר שיתעסקו בתורה ברבים ולא לדקדק אם חבירו לומד לשמה או שלא לשמה

Avoiding the Menorah fights

[Post I'm mulling: What are the schools serving? at Conversations in Klal]

With Chanukah starting tonight, I'm thinking about a perennial problem: The Menorah Fights.

It's been a family tradition among my children for years, and I remember doing it when I was their age, too. At some point during the menorah lighting, one child or another will become upset that her menorah isn't up front, or that his menorah doesn't have a fair share of purple candles, or that he didn't get to light tonight, or that she lit first, or that she stepped on his foot when we started dancing during Maoz Tzur, and so on. All while I'm trying to have a religious as well as pedagogic experience...

So what can we do to head this off? My first rule in parenting - at least theoretically - is to plan ahead. Whether in managing kids in shul, or in dealing with chinuch issues, or anything else, I find I am awful at handling things on the spot. I need to work at it in advance. But how?

So I've been thinking about the Pesach Seder model. Thank Gd, we don't see the same problems at the Seder, even though it's late at night, the food doesn't come until late, and so on. Why does the Seder work?

A few thoughts, which may be practical for Menorah-lighting as well -

1. The Seder is unique; it comes twice, and that's it for the year. Perhaps we need to find ways to make sure each night's menorah lighting is unique, so that they won't become bored, or too familiar with it.

2. The Seder has dedicated time, when all of us are devoted only to the seder experience. Contrast that with Menorah lighting, which takes place while dinner is in the offing, there are shiurim to prepare/deliver, the phone is ringing and so on. Having dedicated time takes some of the pressure off of both adults and children.

3. At the Seder, our children have unique, dedicated space at the table, and unique, dedicated tasks (reading, targeting a specific afikoman, and so on). Probably a good idea to assign space, personal menorah and personal role (holding the berachos card, for example) when we light the menorah.

4. The Seder has a clear educational component, which is individualized in its focus. Perhaps it would make sense to design individualized education for each child during the lighting, itself.

All things to think about. All things I should have thought about last week, of course, if I were truly planning ahead. Ah, well. Happy Chanukah, חג אורים שמח!

My Incredible Shrinking Seder

[Toronto Torah for Parshat Tzav / HaGadol is here]

Like most kids who went to day school, my siblings and I grew up learning brief divrei torah to report at the Seder.

As we got older, those divrei torah morphed into our own questions and answers, and more fleshed-out ideas we had researched. And Maggid grew.

So it was that, through our collective family efforts, the Maggid part of the Seder grew into a two-to-three-hour saga, and we rushed through everything else in order to make more time for this Seder centerpiece.

The idea of extending Maggid with discussion made sense; after all, doesn't the Haggadah report that even the most wise sages must discuss Yetziat Mitzrayim? Do we not say, "One who increases" his discussion is praiseworthy? And don't we emphasize the story of Rabbi Eliezer, Rabbi Yehoshua, Rabbi Elazar ben Azarya, Rabbi Akiva and Rabbi Tarfon discussing Yetziat Mitzrayim all night in Bnei Brak?

Then, when I got married, began to host my own seder and had children, I decided to keep the discussions but shift them to Shulchan Orech, the meal portion of the seder. This way our kids could see more of the seder - a talmudic requirement, I might add - and people would stay interested even if they lacked the sophistication for the discussions.

But along the way I wondered: Really, what were they discussing in Bnei Brak all night? It wasn't the question of why Ha Lachma Anya is in Aramaic, or why Rabbi Eliezer wasn't with his family, or which lines really don't fit in Dayyenu. Theoretically, it could have been a debate of the essence of the mitzvah of sippur yetziat mitzrayim [re-telling the exodus], and whether our Koreich sandwich means we agree with Hillel on sandwiching or not - but all night, and every year? Couldn't they just agree to disagree? And would that same annual debate really absorb them to such an extent that they would risk missing Shema? Entirely possible, yes... but I felt I was missing something.

This year, when I began to prepare Pesach shiurim, I pulled my עולת ראיה Haggadah of Rav Kook from the shelf. I had made notes on a few points in it over the years, but I had never learned in through, beginning to end. I have several Haggadot like that, but I decided that this year I would use Rav Kook's thought. And it changed my Seder forever, for two reasons.

1. As I've mentioned elsewhere, Rav Kook sees the food parts of the seder as the essence, and the purpose of Maggid is to fill in the story of how our suffering and degradation made our redemption possible. [Not only how suffering preceded redemption, but how it enabled redemption; a major kabbalistic theme.] The emphasis is on the actions of Kiddush, washing, dipping, eating, and how those elevate our appreciation for the nation we have become, and the nation we have yet to become.

2. Rav Kook understands the height of the seder not as an intellectual appreciation for the texts describing geulah [redemption], but as a spiritual elevation that results from experiencing geulah. He sees us coming closer to HaShem:
generating kedushah,
washing ourselves of our individual impurities,
dipping food/necessity into dip/pleasure,
breaking the matzah to symbolize material needs [לחם עוני] and spiritual pleasure [eating afikoman על השובע],
cleansing our national state,
eating the simple bread associated with leaving Egypt as a new nation without any impurities,
seeing how the bitterness brought us to redemption,
making a sandwich to symbolize the necessity for servility as well as freedom,
eating a meal of pleasure at this spiritual height,
thanking Gd for our food at this new height,
using our newly exalted state to praise Gd with הלל,
and finding ourselves accepted to Gd, נרצה.

In this view, the seder is not about the textual analysis, it's about spiritual growth. Extended textual analysis is a tool, and if it causes that growth, wonderful - but if text causes us to lose sight of the bigger picture, then it's time to shrink the Maggid. Not necessarily into the mold of a sixty-second seder, but into an experience that truly brings us to experience Redemption and grow to a new height.

Chassidic, I know. I'm okay with that.

Koreich: Two Views from Rav Kook

[This week's Toronto Torah is here!]

I’ve spent quite a bit of time this year reading Rav Kook’s comments on the Haggadah. I have come to believe that Rav Kook saw the Seder as a performance centered on the food, and the Maggid, the re-telling of our experience of suffering and redemption, as a complement to the food.

In particular, Rav Kook’s views of Koreich are fascinating; he presents two dichotomies to explain the Matzah/Marror sandwich. Here are excerpts explaining the two views:

1. Matzah = Freedom, Marror = Servitude, and we need to develop a unity of the two to be true servants of Gd
We must understand these two forces, that of servitude and that of freedom, not as separate forces which operate independently, each with its own role, but as two joined, complementary forces…

The overall goal will be realized only with the knowledge and recognition that these two forces are not contradictory, but are joined in creating the world’s ultimate Freedom, the honor and the powerful desirability of which is not revealed unless it is crowned by exalted Servitude, servitude before the King of Glory, which is also the ultimate freedom.

Therefore, the perfect form of Freedom comes when it is bound together with Servitude, such that a person will find within himself the total control which is suitable for a truly free person, who reigns as well upon the greatest of forces, which is the force of freedom itself.


2. Matzah = Realized Redemption, Marror = Preparation for Redemption, and we see Yetziat Mitzrayim as both extant redemption and preparation for future exile and then future redemption
(Rav Kook makes this observation on the passage of Maggid about reciting the story of our departure from Egypt during the day and at night.)

Matzah is parallel to the goal of accepting the yoke of Divine monarchy… Marror is bceause they embittered the lives of our ancestors, which is the preparation for the revelation of HaShem upon us in the future…

Therefore we say, ‘Because of this [Gd acted for me when I left Egypt],’ and not ‘Because of these,’ plural, to demonstrate the unity of the preparation and the goal, the unity of day and night.

Passover Seder Preparation Checklist

I made up this "Seder Preparation" list for an Introductory Seder program several years ago, and people found it useful. It's intended to be very basic and simple.

(I believe I took the marror and matzah measurements from Rav Eider zt"l's book on the laws of Pesach.)

Seder Checklist

Haggadot
Good translations and pictures are a plus!
Include Haggadot designed for children
Include toys for children, too

Pillows, Sofas or Cushioned Chairs

For the Seder Plate (Ke’arah)
Shankbone (Zroa) and Roasted Egg (Beitzah), or two other cooked foods
Small amount of bitter herb (Maror)
A second small amount of bitter herb, according to some customs (Chazeret)
A green which will not be used as the bitter herb (Karpas)
Charoset

Wine / Grape Juice
Cups that hold at least 4 oz (but not too large; one should drink the majority of the cup each time!)
Wine and/or Grape Juice – At least 16 ounces per person

For Washing - Towels

Karpas
Any item which is halachically considered to grow from the ground rather than a true tree – celery, cooked potato, banana, pineapple

Salt water or vinegar for dipping

Matzah
A minimum of 3 whole Matzot which will sit on a tray
Note: Overall one needs at least 1¼ round shmurah matzot per person, for the mitzvot of the Seder
Matzah Covers and Afikoman Bags for each set of 3 Matzot

Bitter Herb (Maror)
If ground horseradish – 38 grams (1.4 fluid oz) per person – half for Maror, half for Korech
If lettuce stalks – 6*5 inches per person – half for Maror, half for Korech
If lettuce leaves – 18*10 inches per person – half for Maror, half for Korech

Charoset for dipping the Maror

Popular Customs
Kittel
Egg and Salt Water (to dip before the meal)
An Exterior Door (to leave open all seder, or at least for Sh'foch Chamatcha)

Please send me additional items I forgot to include...