Saturday, February 20, 2010

Things you don't want to hear your attorney say at a press conference

I’ve been very grim lately, I know. It happens, from time to time, and with the trauma of last week I think it’s understandable. But one of the side effects of this grimness is that when I read something even marginally absurd, I can’t stop laughing.

The item here, ‘Lawyer regrets calling prof ‘wacko’, restored my sense of humor tonight. Of course, the article’s catalyst was a horrifying and most un-funny set of murders, which makes me feel guilty for finding the piece humorous. Nonetheless, the article itself, with its record of comments made by Attorney Roy Miller about his client, Amy Bishop Anderson, compelled me to cull this list of “Things you don’t want to hear your attorney say at a press conference” :

1. Something’s wrong with this lady.

2. I just think the case speaks for itself. I think she’s wacko.

3. Good lord, y'all. Listen, I went overboard with that. When I talk to y'all I make statements ... I wish I hadn't have made. And probably that's one of them.

4. She knows she's killed some folks, I'm sure.

5. Doctors of biology "have got, in my estimation, high IQs -- and the high IQ in my opinion is sometimes not good for people."

I then went looking for video of Attorney Miller’s comments, just to be sure they were cited accurately. I didn’t find that, but I did find an interview with him here.

My favorite part is at 2:00-2:15 of the video, when he talks about Bishop’s incarceration: “She has no media access. I don’t know how she keeps from goin’ – getting’ worse, under those conditions.”

Good job, Attorney Miller, in keeping from saying the “w” word again…

…but if I were your client in a life-and-death case, I’d worry about your response to the question, “Where do you go from here?” (3:35):

“Today is Friday, the best day of the week, ‘cuz I want out of here and I want to get out of here and do something besides give interviews and work on the case.”

And, in closing, there was also a fascinating “My Cousin Vinny” moment from the interviewer (5:15):
“[She has been talking about] how the suspect pointed the pistol at her and repeatedly tried to fire it, and it was making a clicking sound – how does that work with a 9-millimeter semi-automatic? Y’ know, typically, it won’t sit there and cycle like that.”

To which Attorney Miller replied, "Me and you both!"


  1. I used to carry a 9mm autoloader. (A S&W model 39, if you must know...) Every time you pull the trigger, it clicks. Each pull of the trigger first cocks the hammer, then releases it. So an automatic can go 'click, click, click' similarly (but not the same as) a revolver. A revolver would have an additional, more quiet 'click' when the drum rotates.

    BTW, which shiur was this material for? ;-D

  2. R' Mordechai-
    This was while I was supposed to be working for a shiur coming up Tuesday...