Purim Post: Chaiku

My first stab at a Purim post was to play off of Artscroll's new Talmud App 1.0 with a suggestion for 2.0 - a chavrusa named Sira, playing off of Apple's Siri. But I don't have the time to write clever dialogue.

Instead, I'm resurrecting an old file of Purim Chaiku. This came from Rabbi Eli D. Clark several years ago, under the heading "Jewish-Japanese Poetry for All Occasions", although I might have added in one or two of my own. Unfortunately, I can't find Rabbi Clark's's work on-line anywhere, so I'm posting it as is. Assume that anything funny is from Rabbi Clark; that's a safe bet; you can see Chaiku's I know are mine here, in my Selichos Haiku Rant.

The moon shines bright in

the sky.  Darn! I guess that means

that I’ve missed mincha

Grasp toothpick with two

fingers. Pick teeth right to left

In an ArtScroll world

Hurry to shul in

time for the Rabbi’s speech. Now

I can take a nap

An olive is a fruit

the size of a quarter.  How much

matza must I eat?

The sheitel, makeup,

jewelry, high heels. Ready

to go to Safeway

Wine drops fall like rain.

Would you stop pushing my arm

I’m making kiddush

Shidduch date follies

Got lost finding the airport

Ever read Steinbeck?

Super Bowl, tie score

and only three minutes left

Time for Tehillim

Reading the Chumash

Not for kids!  Can someone tell

me who approved this?

May you grow like rice

Tall, slender, smooth and straight, and

just a little wild

Bring Moshiach now

Wear a red bendel and stop

eating broccoli

Bar mitzvah boy’s speech

High voice, stands on a milk crate

Today you’re still a boy

Listen! Beethoven’s

Ode to Joy.  Who brought his cell

phone into shul?

Hotel for Pesach

Slavery sounds really sad

Please pass the prime rib

Someone knocks.  Collecting

tzedaka for the needy

investment bankers

Should we buy the couch?

The Rabbi is out.  Let’s check

the Mishna Brura

Wafting through the air,

that kishka smell makes me dream

of Pepto Bismol

A perfect match – good

conversationalist and

her dad owns Kansas

Erev Yom Kippur

Time for introspection and

eating like a yak

New Internet site

Live chat with Obama’s friend’s

son’s bar mitzva coach

Looking for cookies

with kosher ingredients. What

the heck is “dextrose”?

Brand new book: The best

of the Jewish Press transla-

ted into English

The kiddush was nice

Too bad I trampled two kids

getting some cholent

Move to Israel

my child? I’ll come too, but not

with luggage, feet first

Leaves of willow fall

to the ground.  Now my lulav

isn’t kosher.

Food stamps, Medicaid,

rent subsidies, Kollel grants

Gd bless America

Sitting together

Belz, Ger, Satmar, Lubavitch

Moshiach has come

Shas is too long. Can

I make a siyyum on

“The Bamboo Cradle”?

Petition on behalf of Tamar Epstein

I received the following email yesterday:

As I am sure you are aware, there has recently been a great effort by the Jewish Community to help free Tamar Epstein from the chains of being an Agunah. Her ex-Husband (they are civilly divorced) is an aide for the prominent House Ways and Means Committee, chaired by Representative Dave Camp. Recent efforts have focused on pressuring Rep. Camp to make a statement condemning all forms of emotional abuse including Get refusal.

This is especially critical because he has previously referred to this issue as “gossip”.

For several days hundreds of people posted on his facebook page. Unfortunately Camp did not respond and instead disabled his wall. This aspect has been covered by Politico, Foxnews, and The Jewish Week.

We are now making an effort to have the public sign a petition (which has over 3,000 signatures ) asking Camp to make a statement. See https://www.change.org/petitions/us-rep-for-the-4th-district-of-michigan-stand-up-against-abuse.

I state explicitly that I have not looked into the details of Aharon Friedman's claims. If that disqualifies my support for the petition in your eyes, so be it. However, I believe that a Get must never, under any circumstances, be used as a weapon or as leverage.

I have written about Agunah issues elsewhere on this blog; see, for example, this post from 2008. I believe they are best handled without direct pressure and head-to-head battles. That said, I know there is room for such pressure as well, and I pray that this pressure will succeed.

Compartmentalization

I went to a funeral this afternoon, for a baby. I was never any good at compartmentalizing my emotions about this sort of thing and moving on - witness this old post - and I haven't gotten any better at it since leaving the shul rabbinate.

I know many people who have the same problem. Some of this is simply the strength of the emotion, but I think one reason people don't lock away their funeral emotions afterward is that it would feel wrong. It would feel like forgetting the death, it would feel disrespectful... and maybe it would feel like the experience didn't hurt me as much as it should have, as though I'm not connected enough to the people who are still grieving, who can't turn away. If you were really upset, you wouldn't be able to listen to that song, to laugh at that joke, to dance at that simchah. If it really touched you, you wouldn't commit the "turning away" Floyd sang about.

We need permission to move past grief, and this includes a permission only we can grant. So I went to a meeting tonight and couldn't let myself forget where I had been a few hours earlier. And now I'm supposed to be working on a shiur and I'm still at the cemetery.

It's good, even beautiful, that human beings can be so connected to each other; I cannot imagine how life without those connections could have meaning. But wow, does it hurt.

Walked past the sign my children made for my birthday, which is tonight, Zayin Adar is finally here. I don't feel the birthday... but I do feel the 40.

Do more

Just a line I came across this morning, and really liked:

The Talmud (Pesachim 112a) invokes a classic imperative:
הוי עז כנמר
Be bold like a leopard.

On this Rashi comments:
התחזק במצוה יותר משיכולת בידך
Strengthen yourself in a mitzvah beyond your abilities.

I find this compelling, and thought-provoking.

For further reading, I believe this ties into Beitzah 25b and Jewish boldness and Tosafot there on the caper bush; the Torah as עז in Zevachim 115b; and Sefer Chasidim 12, among other things.

Of Rabbis and Drinking

From my email-bag:

Would you say "enjoys a l'chaim" is something that would be helpful on a rabbi's skillset over "teetotaller"? Would you advise a, say, 26-year-old rabbi starting his career, who's neutral on spirits (groan), to develop a taste for it, as it will be helpful for his career?

I really, really, really don't want to answer "Yes" to these questions, but I suspect that is the correct answer.

I don't particularly enjoy drinking; any enjoyment I have in imbibing comes from the joy of doing something new, not from the drink itself. To the best of my knowledge, no one ever held that against me in my rabbinate... but I do think that rabbis who enjoy a drink will have an easier time socializing in certain settings.

Of course, every rabbi must know which situations are inappropriate for a drink:
1. Part of this goes back to my standard rants about inappropriate use of alcohol in the Jewish community; I do think we are much too free with alcohol, and this particularly bothers me in environments which include children. (For more on this, wait for the re-post next week of my standard Purim and Alcohol warning.)

2. And it's also a matter of people's comfort; a rabbi should realize that not everyone wants to see him drink, and to see him 'loosen up', in every setting.

But overall, I think a rabbi who knows 'when to say when' will socialize more easily, and therefore build relationships more easily, if he can enjoy a drink.

What say you?

Class: Toxic treatments during pregnancy

I expect to present a shiur later today on "Toxic treatments during pregnancy".

Here are the vignettes:
1. Sarah, 40, is 20 weeks pregnant with her first child when she is diagnosed with lymphoma. Is Sarah obligated to have, permitted to have, or prohibited from having, chemotherapy treatments?

2. Susan, 26, is 32 weeks pregnant with her first baby. She enters labour, and the baby is in a "complete breech" position. The OB-GYN recommends a Caesarean section, but Susan is frightened by the prospect of surgery. May Susan refuse the Caesarean section?


The issue is actually not that complex in its most basic form - halachic authorities agree that the mother's life comes before that of the fetus. I do hope to shed some light on:
(1) Why the mother's life comes first, given that we normally do not kill one party to save another, and
(2) How we deal with complicating circumstances, such as cases in which the treatment is not likely to extend the mother's life, or where the mother wishes to continue the pregnancy without the toxic treatment.

Here are the source sheets I plan to use:

The status of a fetus in halachah

1. Mishnah Oholot 7:6

האשה שהיא מקשה לילד מחתכין את הולד במעיה ומוציאין אותו אברים אברים מפני שחייה קודמין לחייו יצא רובו אין נוגעין בו שאין דוחין נפש מפני נפש

If a woman is having trouble giving birth, we cut the fetus in her womb and produce it limb by limb; her life precedes. Once the majority of the fetus has emerged, we do not touch it; we do not push away one life for another.

2. Mishnah Erchin 1:4

האשה שהיא יוצאה ליהרג אין ממתינין לה עד שתלד ישבה על המשבר ממתינין לה עד שתלד

We do not delay a woman's execution until she gives birth. Once she sits on the birthing table, we wait for the birth.

3. Talmud, Sanhedrin 57b

משום רבי ישמעאל אמרו אף על העוברין מאי טעמיה דרבי ישמעאל דכתיב שפך דם האדם באדם דמו ישפך איזהו אדם שהוא באדם הוי אומר זה עובר שבמעי אמו ותנא קמא תנא דבי מנשה הוא...

"They cited R' Yishmael as saying a Noachide is liable even for killing a fetus." Why? Bereishit 9:6 says, "One who spills the blood of man in man, his blood will be spilled." What is the blood of man in man? This is a fetus inside its mother. The first sage was from the yeshiva of Menasheh [which read the verse, "One who spills the blood of man, in man his blood will be spilled"].

4. Tosafot Niddah 44a איהו

ומיהו אפשר דדוקא היכא דאמו חיה לא מיחייב הורגו עד שיצא ראשו שתלוי קצת בחיות אמו אבל היכא דמתה חייב משום דכמונח בקופסא דמי

Perhaps the non-liability of one who kills a fetus in utero applies specifically while the mother is alive, but where the mother has died one would be liable, for it is as though the fetus was in a box.

5. Ran Chullin 19a בדפי הרי"ף

לאו משום עובר ירך אמו הוא אלא שכיון שהיא מחוייבת מיתה אין מענין את דינה. ולולד כיון שלא יצא לאויר העולם לא חיישינן תדע שאילו נגמר דינה להריגה וילדה אין הורגין את הולד משום דעובר לאו ירך אמו הוא ולא עליו נגמר הדין

We don't believe that the fetus is [liable as] part of the mother; rather, she is liable for death, and we don't oppress her judgment. Since the child has not yet emerged, we are not concerned for it. We see this in the fact that we don't executed the child if she does give birth after the verdict; the fetus is not part of the mother, and it is not his verdict.

6. Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Melachim 9:4

בן נח שהרג נפש אפילו עובר במעי אמו נהרג עליו

If a Noachide kills a life – even a fetus in utero – he is executed for it.

7. Talmud, Sanhedrin 59a

"לבני נח ולא נשנית בסיני לישראל נאמרה ולא לבני נח" אדרבה מדלא נישנית בסיני לבני נח נאמרה ולא לישראל ליכא מידעם דלישראל שרי ולנכרי אסור

"Any mitzvah conveyed to Noachides and not repeated at Sinai applies to Jews, not Noachides." Just the opposite – if it was not repeated at Sinai then it is only for non-Jews! Nothing is permitted for Jews and prohibited for non-Jews.

8. R' Moshe Feinstein, Igrot Moshe Choshen Mishpat 2:69

וברמב"ם פ"א מהלכות רוצח ה"ט מפורש עוד יותר דהריגת עובר הוא רציחה ממש, שהרי כתב טעם על מה שבמקשה לילד מותר לחתוך העובר שבמעיה כדי להציל את האם מפני שהוא כרודף אחריה להורגה והוא מהדין דחייבה תורה לכל ישראל להציל הנרדף אפילו בנפשו של רודף אפילו כשהרודף הוא קטן ואף כשרודף באונס, הרי דסובר דאף שפטור הוא עכ"פ לענין האיסור כרציחה ממש שלכן היה אסור להורגו אלא מחיוב הצלה אף בנפש הרודף

It is even more clear in the Rambam that killing a fetus is murder, for he based the permission to cut a fetus to save a mother on the fetus's status as a pursuer… This shows that he believed that the exemption is only from the crime of murder, but one still may not kill it other than to save a pursued party.

Justifications for pursuing chemotherapy

9. Talmud, Sanhedrin 74a

ההוא דאתא לקמיה דרבה ואמר ליה אמר לי מרי דוראי זיל קטליה לפלניא ואי לא קטלינא לך אמר ליה לקטלוך ולא תיקטול מי יימר דדמא דידך סומק טפי דילמא דמא דהוא גברא סומק טפי

Someone came to Rabbah and said, "My mayor told me to kill Ploni, and he would kill me if I didn't do it." Rabbah said, "Let them kill you; do not kill. Who says your blood is redder? Perhaps that man's blood is redder."

10. R' Avraham Yeshayah Karelitz, Chazon Ish on R' Chaim on the Rambam, Hilchot Rotzeiach 1:9

יש לומר כיון דהא דשפיכות דמים ייהרג ואל יעבור הוא מסברא – מאי סברת דדמא דידך סומק טפי – לא שייך זה בעובר

One could say that since the reason why one must be killed rather than commit murder is one of logic - "Why do you think your blood is redder" - and is not relevant regarding a fetus.

11. R' Yisrael Lipschitz, Tiferet Yisrael to Oholot 7:6, בועז י

ספק נפל הוא ואין לו חזקת חי עדיין כל זמן שהוא ברחם אמו ובכה"ג ודאי דמא דידך סומק טפי

The child might not be viable, and it has no standing as 'alive' as long as it is in utero. In such a case your blood certainly is redder.

12. R' Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, cited in Nishmat Avraham Choshen Mishpat 425:1:7

צ״ע דמ״מ עכשיו שהאמא חולה, הרי העובר ממש רודף אותה

This requires examination; right now, when the mother is ill, the fetus is pursuing her.

13. Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Chovel uMazik 8:15

ספינה שחשבה להשבר מכובד המשוי ועמד אחד מהן והקל ממשאה והשליך בים פטור, שהמשא שבה כמו רודף אחריהם להרגם

If a boat is rupturing due to the weight of its burden, and one of the people present lightens its burden, throwing it into the sea, he is exempt from liability; the burden was like a pursuer, coming to kill them.

14. Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Ishut 21:11

פסקו לה מזונות הראויות לה והרי היא מתאוה לאכול יתר או לאכול מאכלות אחרות מפני חלי התאוה שיש לה בבטנה הרי זו אוכלת משלה כל מה שתרצה ואין הבעל יכול לעכב ולומר שאם תאכל יתר מדאי או תאכל מאכל רע ימות הולד מפני שצער גופה קודם.

If a court assessed payment for appropriate food for a [nursing] woman, and she wants to eat more or to eat different foods because of a craving in her belly, she may eat from her own funds as she chooses and the husband cannot protest that she is eating too much, or that she will eat a bad food which will harm the child. Her pain precedes.

Complications

15. R' Yitzchak Zilbershtein, Chemotherapy for a Pregnant Mother, Techumin 23 pg. 217

להערכתנו, מחלתה המפושטת של החולה הינה בעלת סיכוי נמוך לריפוי (5-10%) והרווח הנוסף מטיפול משולב יכול להגיע ל-10% מהסיכוי הבסיסי (כלומר 0.5-1%). מאידך גיסא, לעובר, שכבר ניזוק מטיפול כימי וקרינתי, יש סכנה גבוהה למומים כבר בשלב זה (להערכתנו כ-30%) והמשך טיפול יעלה את הסיכון למומים בעוד 10-20%.

In our opinion, the metastasized illness of the patient has a low (5-10%) chance of healing, and the added benefit of integrated treatment could achieve 10% over the base chance (meaning 0.5-1%). On the other side, the fetus – already harmed by chemotherapy and radiation – has an elevated risk of defects at this stage (30% in our opinion) and continued treatment would elevate the risk for defects by another 10-20%.

16. R' Yisrael Meir Kagan, Shaar haTziyyun 331:17

אם עבר ומלו, אף דעביד איסורא בזה אפילו הכי מותר עתה לחלל

If they transgressed and circumcised [without medicine present], then even though they violated the law, one still may violate Shabbat…

17. R' Eliezer Waldenberg, Tzitz Eliezer 9:51:3 סיכום יז

אשה שחולה במחלה מסוכנת שעומדת למות ממנה וההריון שהרה בו אם תמשיך בו יקרב מיתתה והאשה מתחננת שלא לסדר לה הפלה ולא איכפת לה אם זה יקרב מיתתה ובלבד שישאר אחריה זכר, יש מקום להתיר להיות בזה שב ואל תעשה.

If a woman is dangerously ill and stands to die from her illness, and continuation of her pregnancy would hasten her death, and she pleads not to abort and she does not care about this hastening her death so long as she can leave behind a 'memorial', there is room to permit this, and not act.

Refusing a Caesarean Section

18. Rav Shlomo Elyashiv, cited by R' Yitzchak Zylbershtein, cited in Nishmat Avraham Orach Chaim 330

חייבת להוסיף קצת בסכנה ולעבור ניתוח קיסרי כדי למלאות את שעבודה ללדת ובפרט שכיום רבות הן הנשים שעוברות ניתוחים קיסריים

She is obligated to add a little risk and undergo the Caesarean section to fulfill her obligation to give birth, and especially today when many women undergo Caesarean sections.

19. R' Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, cited in Nishmat Avraham Orach Chaim 330

אין על האשה כל חיוב להכניס את עצמה לסכנה של ניתוח קיסרי כשהיא מפחדת מהניתוח כדי להציל את עוברה, ומה שהיא מחוייבת משעבודה לבעלה הוא להכניס את עצמה לסכנה של הריון ולידה רגילה כי כך קבלה על עצמה ועל דעת זו התחתנה.

The woman has no obligation to introduce herself into the risk of a Caesarean section when she fears the surgery, in order to save her fetus. Her obligation to her husband is to introduce herself to normal pregnancy and birth, for that was what she accepted, marrying on that condition.