Shiur Theatre: Religious Coercion: A Modern Defense of Rachel

This Shabbos, Gd-willing, our Beit Midrash will present a new installation of Shiur Theatre during our "Matriarchs" Shabbaton.

We'll look at the story of Rachel and Lavan's terafim (working with the standard understanding that terafim were a form of humanoid idol), and attempt to offer a modern version of the story, and a defense of Rachel's attempt to dictate her father's religious practice.

Here is the source sheet I expect to distribute after the presentation:

Act Two: Does Halachah Require Coercion?

1.         Sefer haChinuch 239

להוכיח אחד מישראל שאינו מתנהג כשורה, בין בדברים שבין אדם לחבירו או בין אדם למקום

To instruct a Jew who does not act properly, whether in a relationship with others or in a relationship with Gd…

2.         Rabbi Yaakov Kanievsky, Kehillot Yaakov 10:54

ואמאי אסור לשנאותו? ונראה דלא מיירי ברשע ממש שחוטא חטאים מפורסמים, אלא שאינו נוהג כל כך כהוגן הראוי לפי ערכו...

Why is hating him prohibited [per Erchin 16b]? Apparently, this is not a wicked person who sins publicly; it is someone who does not act entirely properly, based upon his level…

3.         Rabbi Bentzion Uziel, Mishpetei Uziel 4:3:1

חיוב התוכחה, לבד מצות עשה שבה עוד מתחייב בבטולה בעבירה על לא תעשה דלא תעמוד על דם רעך, ובעשה דוהשבותו לו לרבות אבדת גופו וכל שכן הצלה מן העברה שיש בה אבידת הגוף והנפש

The obligation of rebuke, aside from its active mitzvah, also involves a transgression in its failure: You shall not stand by the blood of your brother. It also involves the mitzvah of ‘You shall restore it to him,’ which includes loss of his body and certainly, in saving a person from sinning, loss of his body and spirit.

4.         Talmud, Shevuot 39a-b

כל ישראל ערבים זה בזה...

All Jews are guarantors for each other…

5.         Nachmanides to Vayikra 19:17

"הוכח תוכיח את עמיתך" - מצוה אחרת, ללמדו תוכחת מוסר, "ולא תשא עליו חטא" שיהיה עליך אשם כאשר יחטא ולא הוכחת אותו.

"Instruct your peer" – This is another mitzvah, to teach him ethical instruction, "and you shall not bear sin for him," for should he sin and should you fail to rebuke him, you would bear guilt.

6.         Pirkei Avot 2:4

ואל תדין את חבירך עד שתגיע למקומו

And do not judge another until you reach his place.

7.         Tosafot Avodah Zarah 26b ולא

אף על פי שסתם כנענים עובדי כוכבים ומזלות הם ועוברין על שבע מצות מכל מקום אין מורידין

Although normal Canaanites are idolatrous, and they violate their seven commandments, still, we do not punish them.

8.         Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Melachim 8:10

מי שלא רצה אין כופין אותו לקבל תורה ומצות, וכן צוה משה רבינו מפי הגבורה לכוף את כל באי העולם לקבל מצות שנצטוו בני נח...

We do not compel someone to accept Torah and mitzvot if he does not wish to do so, and so Moshe instructed, in the name of Gd, to compel all who enter the world [only] to accept the mitzvot commanded to Noachides…

9.         Talmud, Eruvin 63a

כל מקום שיש בו חילול ד' אין חולקין כבוד לרב

In a matter involving desecration of Gd’s Name, we do not show honour to the great.

Act Three: Is a Coerced Religious Act Worthwhile?

10.      Rabbi Meir Simchah of Dvinsk, Or Sameach to Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Laws of Divorce 2:20

זה שהוא רוצה להיות מישראל, ורוצה הוא לעשות כל המצות ולהתרחק מן העבירות יצרו הוא שתקפו, וכיון שהוכה עד שתשש יצרו ואמר רוצה אני כבר גירש לרצונו 

This person wishes to be a Jew, and wishes to perform all of the mitzvot and distance himself from all transgressions, but his yetzer overpowers him. When he is struck to the point that his yetzer weakens, he says, "I wish to do this," and then he has divorced willingly.

11.      Roger Williams, The Bloudy Tenent of Persecution, pg. 249-250

If persons be compelled to forsake their religion which their hearts cleave to, and to come to the church… and this all their days, I ask, whether this be not this people's religion, unto which submitting, they shall be quiet all their days, without enforcing them to the practice of any other religion? And if this be not so, then I ask, will it not inevitably follow, that they not only permit but enforce people to be of no religion at all, all their days?

12.      Immanuel Kant, The Critique of Pure Reason, Meikeljohn translation, pg. 422

Let each thinker pursue his own path; if he shows talent, if he gives evidence of profound thought, in one word, if he shows that he possesses the power of reasoning—reason is always the gainer. If you have recourse to other means, if you attempt to coerce reason, if you raise the cry of treason to humanity, if you excite the feelings of the crowd, which can neither understand nor sympathize with such subtle speculations—you will only make yourselves ridiculous.

13.      Moses Mendelssohn, Jerusalem, Bennett translation, pg. 7

A man feels his own worth when he performs charitable acts… when he gives because he wants to. But if he gives because he must, all he feels are his chains.

14.      Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Laws of Trespass 8:8

והמשפטים הן המצות שטעמן גלוי וטובת עשייתן בעולם הזה ידועה כגון איסור גזל ושפיכות דמים וכיבוד אב ואם, והחוקים הן המצות שאין טעמן ידוע, אמרו חכמים חוקים חקתי לך ואין לך רשות להרהר בהן

Mishpatim are laws with revealed reasons and known benefits from their practice, like the prohibitions against theft and murder, and the mitzvah of honouring parents.

Chukim are laws without known reasons; the sages said, "I have engraved chukim for you, and you do not have permission to challenge them."

15.      Sefer haChinuch 16

אחרי הפעולות נמשכים הלבבות

After deeds are the hearts drawn.

16.      R' Avraham Yitzchak haKohen Kook, Letters of the Ra"ayah II pg. 186

ומש״כ מר לתמוה עלי במה שאני מקרב את הכל, גם את פושעי־ישראל כדי להחזירם בתשובה, וכתבתי לו ברמז כונתי, שכל מי שהוא מוכשר לעסוק בפנימיות רזי-תורה הוא מתמלא יותר מאור־החסד של תורת חסד, ועליו החובה לעסוק בתיקון נפולים ובקירוב רחוקים

Regarding my practice of drawing everyone near, including Jews who sin, in order to bring them to repentance: I have written a hint at my meaning to his honour, saying that anyone who is capable of involving himself in the inner secrets of Torah will be filled with the light of the Torah's generosity to a greater extent, and is obligated to involve himself in mending the collapses and bringing near those who are distant.

17.      R' Avraham Yeshayah Karelitz, Chazon Ish, Yoreh Deah 2:16

בזמן ההעלם שנכרתה האמונה מן דלת העם אין במעשה הורדה גדר הפרצה אלא הוספה הפרצה שיהי' בעיניהם כמעשה השחתה ואלמות ח״ו וכיון  שכל עצמנו לתקן אין הדין נוהג בשעה שאין בו תיקון ועלינו להחזירם בעבותות אהבה ולהעמידם בקרן אורה כמה שידינו מגעת.

At a time of [Divine] invisibility, when faith has been cut off from the poor of the nation, punishment does not mend the gap, but only increases it, for it appears like a deed of destruction and coercion, Gd-forbid. Since our entire goal is to repair, the law [of punishment] does not apply when it does not repair. We are obligated to bring them back with ropes of love, to bring them to the radiant light to the extent we can.

Beit Shemesh: Of Sikrikim and Givonim

[I received what could be a critical alert this morning from the ADL, regarding a man named Danny Lee Warner. It is most unusual for them to send an alert specifying a name and a location, as they did with this one. The JCRC of New York has put the alert on-line; click here to see it.]

In the Bible: The Givoni tribe tricked Joshua into a pact of non-aggression when the Jews first entered Canaan. Despite the fraud, the Jews committed to honor their agreement, and supported the Givonim by giving them a role within the Jewish community.

The book of Shemuel I (chapter 21) records that Gd punished the Jews with a famine because King Shaul later attacked the tribe of Givonim. [The commentators are perplexed, for such an attack does not appear in Tanach; some suggest this refers to his eradication of the city of Nov, which eliminated their livelihood.] The Givonim demanded a horrific price for their satisfaction: The death of seven members of King Shaul's family.

As explained in Yevamot 79a, King David reacted by declaring that no Jew could marry a member of this Givoni tribe; they could not possibly be Jewish, because they lacked the traits of bashfulness, mercy and kindness. Expanding upon this, the Rambam wrote in his work of law, Mishneh Torah (Hilchos Issurei Biah 19:17):

כל מי שיש בו עזות פנים או אכזריות ושונא את הבריות ואינו גומל להם חסד חוששין לו ביותר שמא גבעוני הוא, שסימני ישראל האומה הקדושה ביישנין רחמנים וגומלי חסדים, ובגבעונים הוא אומר והגבעונים לא מבני ישראל המה לפי שהעיזו פניהם ולא נתפייסו ולא רחמו על בני שאול ולא גמלו לישראל חסד למחול לבני מלכם והם עשו עמהם חסד והחיום בתחלה

Regarding anyone who is boldfaced or cruel or who hates Gd's creatures and does not perform kindness to them: We are exceptionally concerned that this person might be a Givoni, for the signs of Israel, the holy nation, is that they are bashful, merciful and providers of kindness. Regarding the Givonim it is written, 'The Givonim were not of the children of Israel,' because they were boldfaced, and they were not appeased, and they did not have mercy upon Shaul's family, and they did not perform kindness to Israel to forgive their royal family even though the Jews had [earlier] performed kindness for them, giving them life.

The Shulchan Aruch quotes this as law in Even haEzer 2:2-

מי שיש בו עזות פנים ואכזריות ושונא את הבריות ואינו גומל להם חסד, חוששים לו ביותר שמא גבעוני הוא.

Regarding anyone who is boldfaced and cruel and who hates Gd's creatures and does not perform kindness to them: We are exceptionally concerned that this person might be a Givoni.

Given the above, I have to wonder: How could anyone marry one of Beit Shemesh's self-styled Sikrikim, who - in an organized, premeditated fashion - brutalize children verbally and physically in an attempt to intimidate them and drive them out?

I know their justifications, but the Givonim had a justification, too, and it was a lot stronger than that of the Sikrikim. Claiming the banner of Torah does not hide עזות פנים (boldfaced conduct), does not mitigate אכזריות (cruelty) and does not substitute for חסד (kindness). It appears to me that we have here a modern version of חוששין לו ביותר שמא גבעוני הוא.

Yom Tov: When Family and Religion Clash

Yom Tov [the 'holiday' season] brings family reunions, and along with family reunions can come strife of all kinds, including religious strife. What shul rabbi or yeshiva rebbe hasn't heard these questions:

"My parents' succah isn't really kosher. How can I get them to change it?"

"Our son came home from college for Yom Tov, but he doesn't want to go to shul with us; he'd prefer to lie in bed all morning. What are we supposed to do with him?"

"My family doesn't understand that a Yom Tov meal should be all about Torah. How am I supposed to maintain my intensity around them?"

The problem is complex, of course; it combines personality, stress, insecurity and history with the personal and deep nature of religious conviction, and the resulting clashes can be disastrous.

The best overarching advice I've heard is really just common sense; I wouldn't post it at all, except that sometimes we benefit even from the obvious:

1. Ask: Are you obligated to say anything?
Does the issue affect your own observance, or only theirs?
Do you think the obligation of 'tochachah' [educating others] requires you to speak up? Have you clarified that with a halachic authority?

2. Do your homework
If you are about to ask someone to change his time-honored tradition ("You must stop using horseradish for marror!"), make sure you know what you're talking about.
Prepare the source material, so you can explain the issue well.
And give plenty of notice in advance of the situation.

3. Always tell the truth... although not necessarily all of it
Using mis-direction in explaining yourself ("I don't feel like eating" in a kashrus situation) is a poor strategy, and quite likely to lead to disaster in the long term. Better to speak truthfully.
On the other hand, one doesn't need to say everything that's on his mind ("You will burn in Gehennom for skipping Shalom Aleichem on Friday night after a Yom Tov"); a gentle explanation of the problem, worded in a positive way, can go far.

4. Remember: People are fundamentally good
For the most part, when parents welcome home a child whose religious observance has changed, angst is present on both sides. The less stringent one wants the more stringent one to be comfortable. The more stringent one is nervous about imposing on the less stringent one.
Everyone means well, and no one is trying to make someone else look bad or feel bad – and keeping that in mind, and using it as a basis for approaching situations, can soften disagreements.

Disagree? Or do you have other tips?