When do you stop saying Tehillim?

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[Note: This post takes it as given that reciting Tehillim for those who are ill is a good and efficacious practice. The debate regarding that is interesting, but not for right now.]

I began saying two paragraphs of Tehillim each morning before Shacharis some time back, and the practice has grown on me. Aside from the contribution I believe I am making to people's health, I find it helps me get ready for my own davening, as well as feel good for the day.

But I have the question myself: When do you take someone off the list?

I am not talking about halting Tehillim [Psalms] because a situation is hopeless; rather, I'm talking about halting Tehillim because it seems that a person has recovered, or, at least, seems to be out of danger.

You know the situations; you are saying Tehillim –
-on behalf of someone who is battling cancer, and the disease seems to have gone into remission.
-on behalf of a person with Parkinsons's, and the progression seems to have slowed.
-on behalf of a person who had a heart attack, and doctors have now determined that she has a chronic heart condition with which she will struggle for the rest of her life.
-on behalf of a person who is recovering from a hip replacement, but she will need weeks of physical therapy.
-on behalf of a person who had a stroke, and doctors think he may be out of danger, but he will be on blood thinners for the foreseeable future.

Rabbi, when do I stop saying Tehillim?

This is one of the hardest questions to answer, because it's much more about personality than it is about any halachah. It's also about superstition. Hope. Fear and uncertainty. Relationships.

So one might suggest that we never remove names, but that could be counterproductive. Part of the value, for me, is thinking about each individual name – but how do you do that, as they add up? And doesn't the intensity of the prayer bceome diluted as you add names and include less intense situations? And shouldn't someone be left out, to be included in the catch-all בתוך שאר חולי ישראל, "among the other ill of Israel"?

So I've never had a great answer for this one… The best I can come up with is to reduce the frequency of including certain names, or to create a substitute practice for them, such as dedicating part of one's learning on their behalf, or including them in the general shul "Mi sheBeirach". But I'm still searching for criteria.

Is Gd my concierge?

I have often wondered about our Mi sheBeirach l'cholim, the prayer we recite for people who are ill. Why do we mention specific people?

We enumerate the names of רחמנא ליצלן relatives, friends, people whose condition is made known to us via email, etc. And then, we add a catch-all בתוך שאר חולי ישראל, asking Gd to heal them along with all of the others who need healing. So why do we first enumerate “our own” people?

The question becomes particularly relevant when shuls try to figure out a way to handle their ever-growing lists of people who are ill. The lists grow, the lines up to the bimah grow, the crowd gets restless... so some shuls tell people to say the names privately while the gabbai pauses, others ask for names to be submitted in advance, and so on – but why name names at all?

We find a similar idea in the gemara at the end of Taanit, in which shifts of pray-ers (אנשי מעמד) prayed on different days for specific groups of people, such as sailors. Why not pray for everyone?

For that matter, why enumerate our requests in the amidah – why not just ask Gd to provide us with everything we want/need? (And if one will say we don't know what's best for us, the prayers we do recite do not avoid that problem!)

One might suggest that the point is for the davener – we concentrate more intensely when we think about the needs of a specific person, or about our own spelled-out desires.

But the other day I saw a comment by Tosafot (Bava Metzia 106a “l'nisa”) presenting a different view. Tosafot said that Gd is more likely to respond to a farmer who says, “Please help my wheat grow well” than to a farmer who says, “Please help everything I do.”

Regarding the general request he says דבסתמא לא היה מקבל הקב"ה תפלתו של זה שיצליח כל מה שיזרע אם לא שיעשה לו נס, but regarding a specific request he is willing to apply ותגזר אומר ויקם לך.

From the language of Tosafot, it seems to me that there is an issue of being too demanding, too taking-it-for-a-given, too mechutzaf, too treating Gd as a concierge at our beck and call. To say “Take care of all of this” is to display a cavalier attitude toward the help we are getting. Better to be specific, to note all of the specific ways in which Gd helps us.

In a sense, it's the converse of Dayyenu. Just as thanks must be specific, highlighting each element of assistance, so the request itself should show respect for the favors we are receiving.

Just a thought.