[First, and most apropos: Straight from the laugh factory in Vilna, from Modern Uberdox]
I needed to write a column for Toronto Torah and wanted to build off the following joke, but I couldn't come up with a dvar torah that would fit the column and I was up against a deadline, so I went in a different direction. Rather than waste the joke, though, here it is:
Jonathan travelled from Vancouver to England for a business trip, via a series of connections. He failed to sleep on the flight from Vancouver to Winnipeg, enjoyed no success dozing off on the trip from Winnipeg to Toronto, and then found himself next to screaming twin toddlers on the flight from Toronto to London. By the time Jonathan exited Heathrow Airport in London he was desperate, so he rented a car and and parked along a side street to get a little rest.
As luck would have it, though. the quiet place Jonathan selected was on one of the city's major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there was a knock at his window. He looked out and saw a jogger.
"Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have the time?" Jonathan looked at the car clock and answered, "8:15". The jogger thanked him and left. Jonathan settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.
"Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?"
The jogger thanked him with a smile, and left. Now Jonathan could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he put pen to paper and placed a sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!"
Once again, Jonathan settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.
"Sir? Sir? It's 8:45!"
[If you feel like writing a dvar torah that uses this joke, feel free to put it in the Comments.]
And while we're at it, here's a video from a friend of mine from Allentown, whose son is one of the violinists [the one wearing glasses]. I love this - and make sure to wait for 3:23.