Too sneezy. Too itchy. Too irregular. Too splotchy. Too pale. Too hot. Too cold. Too many diapers. Too few diapers. Too many tears. Too few tears.
Too tired. Too all-over-the-place. Too focussed. Too rambunctious. Too good at sitting. Too anxious. Too relaxed. Too sleepy. Too awake.
Too slow to pull up. Too quick to get out of her crib. Too attached to crawling. Too attached to his blanket. Too clumsy.
Too hungry. Too full. Too picky. Too gluttonous. Too sparse an eater. Too ravenous.
Too into reading. Too uninterested in reading. Too musical. Too math-focussed. Too artistic. Too inquisitive. Too unquestioning. Too intellectual. Too physical. Too missing-the-forest-for-the-trees. Too big-picture.
Too loud. Too quiet. Too silly. Too serious. Too impetuous. Too respectful. Too adventurous. Too timid. Too quick to lash out. Too quick to cry.
Too slow-moving. Too frenetic. Too absent-minded. Too stubborn. Too laid-back. Too demanding. Too immediate. Too harsh. Too shrill. Too quiet to get attention.
Too into her siblings. Too uninterested in his siblings. Too sensitive. Too insensitive. Too emotionally disconnected. Too self-conscious. Too socially unaware. Too vulnerable. Too peer-driven. Too afraid of confrontation. Too blunt. Too direct. Too shy. Too uninhibited. Too apt to befriend the wrong kid. Too apt to befriend no kids.
Too Moshe. Too Aharon. Too Sarah. Too Rachel. Too Dovid. Too Batsheva. Too Naval. Too Avigayil. [These are biblical role models who present very different personalities.]
Too like-that-picture-on-the-Huggies-box. Too like-that-guy-in-the-anti-drug-commercial.
Too tall for his age. Too light for her height. Too physically uncoordinated. Too gangly. Too energetic.
Too lacking table manners. Too neurotic about table manners. Too conscious of body image. Too unaware of appearances. Too likely to say just the wrong thing. Too eager to say just the right thing.
Too generous. Too hoarding. Too lackadaisical with her belongings. Too afraid to throw anything out. Too scavenging. Too picky.
Too unpredictable. Too likely to decide to lop off some of her hair. Too tame. Too in need of outlets. Too in need of stimulation. Too bored. Too wild.
One of our children has lately become somewhat… creatively unpredictable, but I’ve been having a hard time taking it seriously. I find this child’s recent behavior funny, energetic, uninhibited, and well in line with what children her age normally do. I’m tired of the Toos imposed upon us by ourselves, by the expectations, real or imagined, of friends and family and teachers and doctors and school nurses. I don’t want to attach a Too to funny, to energetic, to uninhibited.
It’s bad enough that we have too many Toos regarding ourselves; I hope to spare my children, for as long as I can, this Tooitis.
[Haveil Havalim is here; go read it!]