tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898782635470765614.post6438392794512551401..comments2023-09-11T17:58:13.764-04:00Comments on The Rebbetzin's Husband: Parenting a needier childThe Rebbetzin's Husbandhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14977193945074906534noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898782635470765614.post-42669954080487758452011-05-20T13:46:28.119-04:002011-05-20T13:46:28.119-04:00Bob-
At least I can gladly inform you that this si...Bob-<br />At least I can gladly inform you that this situation no longer applies there, thank Gd.<br /><br />Joel-<br />Agreed.<br /><br />Micha-<br />Very much agreed on all points.The Rebbetzin's Husbandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14977193945074906534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898782635470765614.post-92204170765895943062011-05-20T12:28:49.116-04:002011-05-20T12:28:49.116-04:00The problem with siblings is very rarely the paren...The problem with siblings is very rarely the parent who buys a kusones pasim. It's the parent with 24 hours days, a job, a weird belief they ought to sleep some of that time, and children who have more needs and therefore take up more of their time.<br /><br />The children without special needs can end up starving for attention. Particularly in a large family. Without special care, that child may seek attention through misbehaving, not trying in school, going OTD or antisocial behavior.<br /><br />My advice... One night a week, take one or at most two kids out to the local fast-food joint. (If we're speaking of a a home witha lot of kids, the budget won't absorb much more.) Or a window of Sunday to taking one child (or at most two) out to do something. (Barnes and Nobles works.) So that the child is never more than a month away from significant one-on-one time. "Quality time" is not a full replacement for quantity time, but this parent has no choice.<br /><br />I would add that while our educational institutions are built around the idea of unique individual needs, there is a similar problem of finite resources. And so, the child with a learning disability spends too much of his day on his week point, and not enough learning those things he's good at. Lowering expectations overall, as school becomes about their failure. And the mainstream class is still being taught to the middle of the class, regardless of any of the above. We might in theory believe chanokh lena'ar al pi darko, but after cost-cutting, it doesn't consistently reach the child.<br /><br />-michamicha bergerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11612144735431285113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898782635470765614.post-70370543514181530562011-05-20T05:38:13.340-04:002011-05-20T05:38:13.340-04:00I would add the r'zushya story -hkb"h gra...I would add the r'zushya story -hkb"h grades on a curve (and btw imho it's just as important that talented children learn this - for a different reason)<br />KT<br />Joel RichAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898782635470765614.post-62789904096094126352011-05-19T16:27:22.694-04:002011-05-19T16:27:22.694-04:00You made the excellent point that "All of Jew...You made the excellent point that "All of Jewish education is structured around the idea that every child has unique needs, and we are supposed to take those unique needs into account."<br /><br />When we lived in Pennsylvania during the mid-1980's, one of our kids was rejected from entering the kindergarten of the only local Jewish day school by their gatekeeper/psychologist who was always given the last word on admissions. This despite their having a very competent and sympathetic Resource Room teacher. <br /><br />We tried to make our case, a rather good one, for giving our child a chance, but the unsympathetic principal shocked us by saying (may not be exact) "We're not here to save Jewish souls". A rabbi, yet! Supposedly the dual Jewish/General Studies curriculum in this one-day-school town was not for everyone. The fact that the nearest day school was over 1.5 hours away did not move him to take a chance. <br /><br />Now and then, we began to meet other parents in the same boat as us, who had been repelled one at a time from the school in this fashion. We moved out of state at the earliest opportunity after that, to a place with schools that did not take the un-Jewish, narrow view of their duties.Bob Millernoreply@blogger.com